Author Archives: Leon Schofield

It’s not good to be in the high-risk group. But here I am, male and over 70. The odds are bad. Frankly I would rather watch reruns of Gilligan’s Island than do this, but here goes. You can take the … Continue reading →

We are still in the early stages of the Corona event. I prefer to use the word “event”. It has no connotations, either positive or negative. You know what happens to your cortisol and adrenalin levels when we hear on … Continue reading →

                   We all remember when Amazon stock or Google could be bought for a buck a share. We would all have unbelievable wealth if we only knew enough to buy a few thousand shares at the time. With that thought … Continue reading →

The CDC (Can’t Decide Club) has once again altered its recommendations. You might recall that face masks were not advised for a couple of months since it was considered pointless to wear them. Then after 10,000 deaths without the masks, … Continue reading →

We milled about, glancing upward as you would in an elevator- supposedly transfixed by the changing numbers but really just avoiding eye contact. You aren’t supposed to look at strangers. It’s basic animal survival 101, I guess. You can walk … Continue reading →

Marvin was going to do it for amusement as much as he would do it for the “hard cash”. He was of average build and average looks but today he would become a master criminal.   All staff and customers … Continue reading →

I’m having trouble knowing what day it is. I know it’s a sign of dementia but I’m pretty coherent otherwise. My language skills, the highest level of mental activity, seem OK- as I am writing this. The Corona (AKA Co-bid … Continue reading →

A message appeared in my email. It asked, “What does “chst” mean?” It was embedded in the sentence “I might be late so you can read or chst”. This inquiry set me to thinking. Was this a code word? An … Continue reading →

“Are you confused about your supplemental Medicare coverage? Call us now for a free, no obligation consultation”. Joe Namath has been hawking All Care every hour of every day on every TV station. I see him more than the Donald. … Continue reading →

                                               Look Out! I put on my sunglasses and cap, tipping it forward to limit exposure. Before leaving, I opened the blinds a touch and noted that it was sunrise. The skies were a light grey-blue without any clouds in … Continue reading →

I pull slowly on the thin, clear plastic wrap as it yields reluctantly with a scratching, squealing sound of protest as I firmly pull it from it’s protective roll. I lowered the yellow box a bit, closer to the granite … Continue reading →

As one of the few renters in this magnificent residential facility on the beach, I had to inspect each room carefully before allowing my luggage to move in. The two little grey recycling bins stood side by side at full … Continue reading →

I usually hang up at the first sign of a telemarketer call. I used to listen to the first sentence or two of the pitch before hanging up, for example: “Hello, my name is Bob. How are you today? I … Continue reading →

Walter was a creature of habit. Some would say he was obsessive-compulsive, He was certainly extremely orderly and a man of routine. He awakened at his usual time, 6:05 AM. In 17 hours and 5 minutes he will be killed- … Continue reading →

Sam has an attitude. I’ve dumped a few before Sam, but he’s a tough one to figure. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind. He’s always asking, “Can I help you?”. He can be pretty bossy too … Continue reading →

A slow steady stream of blood trickled from his three-inch gash over his eye. It made its way into the forest above his eye and then leaped to the cheek below. The crowd roared as he fell to his knees … Continue reading →

With a name like Percy Slotnik- his fate was sealed at birth. When he initialed anything with “PS” everyone had to ask, “Yes, what else?”. It didn’t help that his middle name was Ichabod-Simpson. His full initials “PISS” was generally … Continue reading →

I march along slowly trying to keep up with the US Army Marching Band. I follow in their steps as they blow and drum their way through memorable patriotic tunes. They remind me of the Rockettes with instruments. Impressive. Their … Continue reading →

                       Harold sat awkwardly on the examining table with his hairy legs dangling like a little child in a high chair. There’s no mirror here for good reason. He thought, “Even I don’t want to see my balding head, … Continue reading →

I was tense as I drove down the short, quiet street. It’s been about 40 years since I’ve been back here. I could have come back many times but I didn’t.  I want to keep the memories alive. I don’t … Continue reading →

The game has gone pretty much as I planned. Of course, there were a few fumbles along the way and they were recovered. Storms came through too and slowed things down for a while. However, I smiled as I thought … Continue reading →

The bowling ball sized orbs floated above the table. Perhaps they were supposed to look cheery but they reminded me of drones. The waitress was all smiles and dressed like Mrs. Cleaver. She handed me the 8 page glossy manuscript … Continue reading →

Why am I on this diet?! I know you explained it to me. We’ve had the long talk about eating healthy. But I get plenty of exercise and I sleep very well. OK, if I’m honest I dream a lot … Continue reading →

I am being held prisoner by my new computer. At present it has not dictated any ransom demands but that is likely to change soon. Like any good police drama, it’s best to let the victim sit there and sweat … Continue reading →