Adaptation

Walter turned to Shirley, nodding his head. He whispered, “It’s time to do it”. Shirley stood close behind with the two little ones, Ray and Linda, clutching their mother. They had planned and prepared for this. Shirley thought about their discussion the night before. Walter had reminded her- “Evolution can be cruel. It’s not all about size- look what happened to the dinosaurs. It’s not even about the size of your brain, really. It’s all about how well you can adapt to change. We just are better at it. That’s just the way the universe works”. 

Shirley, who was more sensitive to the plight of others, spoke softly- “Try to be kind. They really didn’t want this to happen. They have little ones too, They can’t help it if they are sliding down the evolutionary ladder”. Walter responded “Yes, you are right. They will likely die anyway though- there’s nothing we can do to save them”. Walter  knew his adversary was easily frightened. There would be no need for violence. “All we’ll do is threaten them a little and they’ll run off”. Shirley nodded in agreement.

Ray spoke up next- “Daddy, why do we have to move?” Linda jumped in as well- “I  like where we lived before”. Walter gave them a little sigh, but patiently noted- “Yes, but climate change has brought us here. We can’t stay where we were- we had to change and part of that change brought us here. Besides, they did it to themselves. It’s really their fault that they will soon face extinction. We can’t protect them from disease or accidents. They just can’t make it”. Linda had a few tears in her eyes as she thought about the end for them. 

The severe climate change had triggered chemical changes in the atmosphere which destroyed the immune systems of the helpless dwellers. Walter slowly moved along the outer wall of their house. He stopped and knelt down under the window. As he slowly rose to peer inside he was met by a terrified face. The poor thing screamed and the entire family fled out the front door screaming “Run faster, faster!”. The helpless family left the comforts of their little home to the invaders- Walter and his family. 

As the newcomers sat in their new home on the sofa that night-  they all watched one of the few television stations still working. The newsman was very concerned. “There have been reports of home invasions in our area. The invaders are expanding their range. Some of us have tried using guns but the chemical changes in our atmosphere have made ammunition useless. There is no defense. The only thing we can do is flee to the north”. 

The newscaster continued- “The police have attempted to negotiate with the invaders but they do not speak our language. They appear to communicate by various high pitched sounds and complex gestures”.  Walter and Shirley looked at each other and they would have smiled if they could, but their beaks were not designed for such things. The newscaster continued- “It appears that the Great Blue Herons” are quickly rising to the top of the evolutionary chain. They have thrived with the chemical changes in our atmosphere that followed a century of climate change”. The newscaster went on to warn residents that the Great Blue Herons’ increased brain size and development of fingers in addition to their expansive wings and fierce beaks- now made them a formidable force. 

The newscaster shifted to a scientist living in the Yukon Territory. Dr. Crenshaw was solemn. “We scientists warned you about the tipping point. Some species came out winners, and some- like homo sapiens- were losers”. The theory had been that the big brains of humans would save the day. Humans thought they were superior to every creature that ever existed. Dr. Crenshaw continued- “Their ‘superiority’ ironically is killing them off. Various diseases have ravaged the population while other species have quickly adapted”. Dr. Crenshaw joked- “We used to think about the helplessness of the Great Blue Heron. They were so timid and afraid of humans. We were unprepared for their rapid evolution”.   

As the years passed, the Great Blue Heron family prospered. They visited a place called “The Mall” which was a replica of the natural habitat for humans in the past. They were fascinated by the poor humans rushing over to a “Sale” sign and their obsession with a thing called Nike Sneakers as well as their willingness to work hard for a chance to eat something called ‘French Fries’. 

Now in college, Ray and Linda knew that the human species was on its last legs- no pun intended. Reading about the wide variations in subspecies was quite interesting. Their natural history professor reminded the class that nobody is immune from climate change. “Becoming arrogant and thinking nothing could threaten us at the top of the evolutionary chain- might be our downfall too, just like the poor humans”.

Ray and Linda left class doubtful. They had survived the Great Change just fine and they had little to be concerned about. Sure, they didn’t bother flying much any more and they were losing their skills in that area. But who needs flight?. They had their more modern version of cars and fast food joints. They had money, computers, holographic transmography and carmel power balls. 

Ray ended their discussion about the professor’s warning. He shrugged his wings and said- “Linda, even if the asteroid did hit, we will surely destroy it with our intergalactic fusion rocket. What could go wrong? “.

Readers Respond:

Mary Lou Simmonds from Dubuque Iowa left a text note- “OK, nice twist, but humans are not going to give up their spot at the top of the animal world. I think it’s just a big fantasy to assume that things could change that fast. 

Perhaps, Mary Lou, but I hope you’ve had your 17th Covid 49.1 shot. And don’t forget the SRV, FLU, DDT, EAP, and STD shots. And be sure to avoid eating anything with fur or fins. 

Michael Dormhauser from Toledo Ohio emailed a question. “Why the Great Blue Heron at the top of the evolutionary ladder? Shouldn’t it be a tiger or something with big sharp teeth?”

Good point. I only picked the heron because it was so unlikely. Mother nature likes to throw some curveballs to liven up things. The duck-billed platypus was a great example of odd evolutionary development. It was pretty funny looking too. But if you think about it, humans are pretty ugly and not very good at living anything like a hard life in the woods. Heck, an hour without the internet might kill off a lot of humans.

Susan Smith of Boise Idaho commented on Twitter- or “X”- “Hey, my parents have made a bazillion dollars in the market. They don’t have to worry about climate change and I can live with them”. 

True, Susan. Haven’t you ever wondered why little green pieces of paper have any worth at all? Maybe the sign of wealth might be the number of tanks of freshwater you possess in the future- or the number of frozen Happy Meals you have after McDonalds disappears. Or perhaps earthworms will be the new currency. I guess we’ll see. Or maybe our children and grandchildren will see.