Chasing Light

Note: This was an example of dialogue written in two different POV’s, while the core dialogue changes very little for an exercise on dialogue.

#1 – Written in 3rd Person POV in past tense

Earl came in from his golf game in a melancholy mood, ambling into the house and plopping down on
the furniture, sitting in a lump without speaking a word to his wife Trudy. “How was your golf game,” she asks puzzled.
“Oh, I won,” he said with no spark of enthusiasm.
“I’m confused. If you won, why are you so low?” she asked.
“It’s 85 degrees and everything’s green,” he pouted.

Still confused, Trudy brought him a cold drink and chuckled.
“Isn’t that why we moved to Florida… to be warm.”
“Yes, and I don’t miss the cold, but I didn’t realize how much the snow sets the mood for the holiday.”

Earl takes a sip of the ice tea and puts it down dissatisfied.
“I wish it was hot tea or cocoa.”

Earl sulked through dinner and afterward sat in front of the TV aimlessly flipping through channels until
Trudy came in.
“Come on, get in the golf cart.”

Earl kept his eyes on the TV barely acknowledging her.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” she teased and prompted him off the sofa and into the golf cart.

She drove with him slumped in the seat beside her looking down, until she stopped the cart.
“What are we stopping for?” he said annoyed.
“Look up,” she gently urged, smiling.

Earl looked up and before his eyes he saw a wonderland of bright colored lights set amid the night
darkness. In one direction was a giant ornament as tall as the house behind it clad in silvery glow. The
front lawn of the next house shone a kaleidoscope of red, green, blue lights wrapped around each palm
tree standing stately with a white glittering crown of lights in the top palms.
He glanced in multiple directions rapidly toggling his eyes to see illuminations of white circular cones
resembling Christmas trees, nutcracker soldiers, and familiar frosty and Santa blow up figures, making his smile as bright as the lights. Suddenly he was like a kid, sitting up in his seat, anxiously entertained by the light shows that infused his soul with spirit of the season.
“Now, this feels like Christmas. Can we see more?” he smiled.

#2 – This is the same story written in 2nd person with present tense:

My husband Earl and I just moved from Chicago and this is our first Christmas in the warm sunshine. I’m in heaven. I hate the perpetual depressing gray skies, hassle of the snow, ice and bitter cold that makes you shiver down to your bones from November to April. But I worry about him. He’s moping
around in a melancholy state. Today he came in from his golf game ambling into the house and then plopped down on the furniture, sitting in a lump without speaking a word.
“How was your golf game,” I ask.
“Oh, I won,” he says with no spark of enthusiasm.
“I’m confused. If you won, why are you so low?” I ask.
“It’s 85 degrees and everything’s green,” he pouts.
“Isn’t that why we moved to Florida… to be warm,” I joke.
“Yes, and I don’t miss the cold, but I didn’t realize how much the snow sets the mood for the holiday,” he says.

So I hand him some ice tea and he takes a sip.
“I wish it was hot tea or cocoa.”
He keeps that sour face on all through dinner and afterward sulks in front of the TV aimlessly flipping
through channels. Then I get an idea.
“Come on, get in the golf cart,” I say.
“Where are we going?” he snips with his eyes fixed to the TV.
“You’ll see.” I tease him until he gets off the sofa and into the golf cart.
What a baby. He begrudgingly slumps in the seat beside me looking down, until I stop the cart.
“What are we stopping for?” he says annoyed.
“Look up,” I urge, smiling.

Then he sees it. A wonderland of bright colored lights set amid the night darkness. In one
direction is a giant ornament as tall as the house behind it, clad in silvery glow. And the front lawn of
the next house shows a kaleidoscope of red, green, blue lights wrapped around each palm tree
standing stately with a white glittering crown of lights in the top palms.
It ‘s amazing how our everyday ranch abodes transform into wonderful light celebrations.
Earl is hooked. I even see him glancing in multiple directions rapidly toggling his eyes. There are
illuminated white circular cones to look like trees, nutcracker soldiers, and familiar Frosty and Santa blowup figures. He’s like a kid again with a smile as bright as the lights.
“Now, this feels like Christmas. Can we see more?”