Gastronomic Challenge

I found the marker in the rocky soil. It was the usual day- cloudy with a light mist in the air. The wind was a steady 15 knots out of the northeast blowing in the cold North Atlantic air over the baron treeless mountainous terrain. I planned well with my Navy peacoat and double thick knit cap. Across the cliffs and ravines the stark shades of black, deep blue, olive green and charcoal gray painted a surprisingly complex and beautiful scene. 

I was determined to win the best intern award among the four contestants picked for this amazing challenge. Along with my sous chef mentor, we carefully dug into the ground, brushed off the protective layer of field grasses and withdrew the large chunk of thoroughly fermented lamb shank. 

The four days to get here by several plane flights, two boat trips and a bumpy ten mile ride over a rutted and occasionally flooded mostly single lane road into this wild and remotest island of the Faroe Island chain- was all worth it. Voted as the world’s best restaurant- it only seats 12 dinners for one three hour tasting menu- four nights a week. Guests are served 18 small plates of the most unique foods in the world. After examining my video, 10 page biography and 500 word essay- I was one of the lucky four to serve under the tutelage of Chef Poul Andreas Ziska. I will be exposed to the fine art of fermenting, drying, salting and smoking- all practiced here for many centuries.

The smoke house served as the final resting place for a few native goats. The drying racks were the last stops for gannets stretched out to greet the constant ocean breezes. There were no signs of the brilliance and gastronomic authority of this place. There were no pictures on the walls of kings, movie stars or Bill Gates. There was only a small sign on the front door- “Koks”, and native hunting and fishing tools hanging on the walls. Since wood was not available on these rocky islands, a small propane powered fireplace brightened the dining area with its one large communal table. The low beam ceiling and dark rock walls announce this is a special place- far, far away from the typical restaurant chain. 

I was given the honor of producing the signature opening dish in the 18 act play for tomorrow’s guests. My mentor, Marc, usually silent, spoke of the events ahead as we walked into the kitchen. “Our guests have spent several thousand dollars to be here. They have the finest pallets on the planet. And they will expect perfection” … “No pressure”, he said with a broad smile that suddenly invaded his austere face.  

I worked tirelessly on each element. Marc’s gaze was intense as if I was disarming a bomb and any false move would be the end. I looked frequently for any signs of approval, the tiniest nod and upturn of his stoic mouth. At last, I was finished. “Good” was his only comment. I was ready to serve. 

I presented my humble offering to each dinner. I nodded solemnly and I avoided begging them for their vote later in the evening. The dish was complete- my fate is in their hands. Chef Ziska stood in the corner providing hand signals to the sous chefs and servers. There seemed to be some smiles and nods of approval. I watched as some held onto their test tube with two hands so as not to spill the slightest molecule. Others grasped the tube and guzzled the entire treat with one quick gesture. Some held onto the flavorful concoction in their mouths bathing their taste buds in bursts of  contrasting flavors  before swallowing. I reviewed the ingredients in my mind trying to reassure myself that all was well. Each test tube was filled with dried fish chips, roasted barley, sugar glazed seaweed and, of course, fragments of fermented lamb. 

Wine was poured by the sommelier who spoke several languages to the assembled guests. He offered exotic wines imported from all regions of the world- starting with a 2005 Bollinger La Granda Brut, continuing with a French 2001 Trimbach Riesling, a Spanish 2006 RiojaTorre Muga, several other sturdy reds from Argentina, New Zealand and Switzerland- while finishing with a 1980 Portuguese Burmester Colheita port. I wondered for a moment if the guests would even remember their first plate.

The vote of the guests was kept secret until the time of the interns departure the next morning. Chef Ziska warmly thanked all four interns and wished them well in their culinary career. He smiled and shook my hand- “Congratulations- you will be moving on to the next leg of your quest to achieve gastronomic greatness”. He then handed me my tickets. 

I’m off to Bangkok to intern with the great Indian chef Gaggand Anand. His claim to fame is his meme menu. Each special guest will pick a meme from among twenty or so and they will then be served a dish fitting that emotion. For dessert,  guests will be given a plate and no utensils. Their task is to appreciate the dozen or so colorful modern art-like dabs and symbols presented on the plate, then bring the plate to their face and lick them in no particular order, pausing to ponder the varied and intense flavors of each.

With some luck, I will go on to win again as the favored intern. Then I will be closer to my goal- bringing world food adventure to all via my own food truck. GIven the many exotic foods I can prepare now- I may need a bigger truck.