A possible wrong turn

In 1969 I was a pharmacy student at Temple University in Philadelphia.  After 3 years of undergrad I was enrolled in another 3 years of pharmacy school.  During that time there were 3 women in the class and I hooked up with one of them.  A vivacious, very bright, lady,Helene, with a wonderful personality and we spent lots of time together.  Although we never formally dated, we studied together, spent everyday in class together, and truly enjoyed each other’s company.  We shared our dating experiences together, and just had a great time together.  Immediately after we graduated, we went out one night and I mentioned we ought to get married. I did love her in a special way but at my age who really knows what love is? Her first comment was “I don’t think you really mean it” and I strongly disagreed.  At 23 years of age, what did I know about love?  We agreed we would be engaged.

A month later my grandmother was after me to meet this girl from Boston who came into philly to visit her brother.  My grandmother was impressed with this girl as she cleaned her brother’s apartment, cooked meals, and Bubby knew this woman would make a great wife.  I finally agreed to meet this woman but she, Susan, would only be in Philly for the weekend.  I was president of my fraternity and had a party that weekend, but I agreed to see her at 9:00 on Saturday evening.  Susan was appalled and flat out rejected this thought.  I wrote her a letter asking her to come in on Labor Day weekend and agreed to spend every day of the weekend with her. Susan accepted.

I met her at the gate of Allegheny airlines, the cheapest carrier, and that night after dinner we went back to my apartment.  We got into a terrible argument, and she stormed out of my apartment which was in a rather bad neighborhood.  I knew she would be coming back in about 10 minutes crying her eyes out scared and frightened.  It was really a stupid thing to do storming out in an unknown neighborhood at night.  I caressed her, calmed her down and we started to talk. Hours later I proposed, she accepted and we planned every detail for the next 9 months.  Honeymoon, type of bed, permanent residence, timing of all events and our commute every weekend.  We left no detail to chance. 

The next day I went out bought a tape recorder, crafted a message and suggested every day we mail each other a tape recording which we both agreed to to faithfully do.  Every other week I flew to Boston and on the alternative weekends she flew to Philadelphia.  We did this for 9 months without missing one weekend.Then we just executed our wedding plans with excellence and stayed married for 37 years until unfortunately she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died.

 What got into me to make such a life long commitment in a matter of 2 hours?  Perhaps it was the Boston accent.

Now I visit with Helene, my pharmacy lady friend, and share this news of my new engagement and gracefully back out of my half hearted commitment to her.  Deep in her heart she knew when I proposed it was a feeling at the moment and an impulsive gesture so she was not distraught.  She also got engaged within a couple of months and we both met for lunch about 2 months later, had a wonderful time together again and were weighing in if we both were making the right decision. We did love each other, had so much fun together always. We both decided at this moment to move on with our plans as they stood.

Now 40 years later, I look her up, since I am a widower and wonder of her availability.  Perhaps she had a misfortune in her life. I call her. She is pleased to get my call and it was like we didn’t miss a beat.  She has been married for 50 years.   We now face time and talk from time to time and after each call I am raging with joy.  She is still married 50+ years, 3 children and 5 or 6  grandchildren.  I am widowed 15 years, have 2 children 6 grandchildren. 

After each great chat, I am usually invigorated still and always wonder did I possibly make the wrong turn?

shel