Modern Communication

Technology is difficult for many adults today. It’s a breeze for today’s seventeen year olds. It’s all they’ve ever known. Try telling them you are going to “write a letter, lick a stamp, put it on an envelope and drop it into a mailbox”. They will look at you like you are a space alien. So with this in mind I decided to attempt communication with my teen son. 

I bravely began communication. “I want to tell you about a new advancement in communication technology”. No response. Fingers taped steadily on his smartphone. “The new communication tool has a very Favorable rating”. I thought I saw a slight glance in my direction. “It’s Advanced, too- no need for recharging every day”. I got a glance and brief eye contact. I’m on a roll.

“Good. I see you’ve lowered your right hand and your thumb is hovering over the keyboard on your smartphone”. I hurried along since the window of opportunity here is probably about 2.5 seconds. “OK- it’s Technological too”. That got a slight nod and an eye roll. I was losing him. I quickly added- “It’s a Hybrid”. That hit a note. The smartphone was placed on the table. His right thumb retreated to a resting position on his palm half embraced by his index finger. 

Actual words emerged from his mouth. “What is this communication innovation?” I was thrilled. I went on- “It’s Economic- you know- money- like what makes the world work”. I had him there. Money and technology- a powerful incentive. I paused for dramatic effect. It worked- he added a few seconds later “And?…”. Taking that as a wrap-it-up signal I blurted out my final response- “Release”. 

He looked puzzled. So I responded in his language- acronyms. “You know- Favorable Advance Technological Hybird Economic Release- FATHER”. He actually chuckled a bit- “Great, Dad. Can I have thirty bucks and the car keys for a party tonight at Jeff’s place?” His smartphone, sitting abandoned on the table, tried to restore balance to the universe. It lit up and hummed- but I had trumped the little devil- the phone that is, not my son.  

I nodded my approval as I typed away on my smartphone. “First, let me activate the car tracking and speed control device. You do know that it will shut itself off if you make any sudden turns or quick stops?” He nodded slightly. “Good, let’s see. There will be a strong line of showers moving through town at 10:30 pm. The car will not activate between 10:15 pm and 11:15 pm. I’ve just sent a list of emergency numbers to the home screen of your phone. I have sent a TPA- Teen Peer Alert to Jeff. He must take a picture of you and send it by text to my phone within five minutes of your arrival there, which should be at 9:45 pm according to Google’s current estimate of traffic flow. If Jeff fails to do that, the car will lock itself and I will be notified that you are missing. The police will begin the search no later than 10:30 pm according to their current activity log. 

I sat quietly for a few seconds looking at my screen. I typed a text to my son. It read- “Have a nice night out. Enjoy the party. Don’t forget you have to pass a sobriety test on the interactive dashboard panel in the car before starting it. It’s been fun talking to you. We should do this more often. I added a smiling emoji. 

Love- DAD

Delightful-Amusing-Dad