I’m Not Here

I find myself riding a big wave off Paia Beach in Maui with my surf board as I cut through the middle before it comes crashing down while I slide to the shoreline. Although, I’m not here.

I take off in the sky in a single-engine Cessna plane with with Frank an 85 year old-man, light complexion, hard of hearing and a smile as big as the sky. Frank charges 5$ for the plane ride for an hour. “Hey kid do you want to take the wheel while we are in the air”? “Sure Frank, do I need to pull on the wheel”? ” Pull kid so we can get the plane at the right altitude”. We are taking the plane down the Kanawha river in Charleston, WV. What a beautiful experience, but I’m not here.

One summer day, I find myself at the Jersey Shore in Beach Haven eager to swim in the ocean on a sunny day in the afternoon. This is in July while the temperature holds steady at 85 degrees Fahrenheit, but I’m not here.

In the year 2020 in early February I find myself hiking Angel’s Landing which is the most iconic trail in Zion National Park. I hiked about 6 miles where I go through over 20 tight and steep switchbacks up to Scout’s Lookout. I stopped there because I have a torn right-shoulder which is going to be operated on in the next two months. The rest of the way to Angel’s Landing has chains to grab to get to the top. I can’t do this because I have one working shoulder, but I’m not here.

I was sitting in the court yard of the town center drinking my early morning coffee. I observed the hustle and bustle of those around me. People were reaching out to me while I was caught up in my own thoughts, but I couldn’t reach out to them because I’m not here.

On March 27, 2023 at 8 A.M. I rode my bike, a white and black Schwin 21 speed Skyliner for 2 miles to the Harbor Town pickleball court #2 to play pickleball with my regular players John Harris, Bob Willis, Maris Bouerk, and John Salley. Everyone shows up at 8:10 A.M. I play one game and take a break while the others play the next game. “Hey Steve, your in the next game”. I fail to respond because I’m not here.