A Romantic Adventure

We were probably too old for this. “Honey- we’re getting close. I checked the maps earlier and it’ll be an easy climb. I know there’s  water on the other side of that small mountain. When we get to the top we’ll have a good view and we’ll find a great camping spot in the valley right by the lake. We’ll be sitting by the fire watching the stars in no time”.  My positive attitude was not contagious. 

She exclaimed- “We’re going to die soon and you’re worried about water?!” I explained that “Food isn’t necessary but water is and we’re out of it”. Of course we both knew that it was my fault that the caps on the canteens were not fastened tightly. When we put them down to sit and rest, the water leaked out. “At least we can have the satisfaction of knowing that a few plants got a good drink of water”. My attempt at humor fell flat. 

“Yeah. And about the food. You ate the last granola bar” …. “I told you that I thought I packed two of them in my backpack.” I went on to gallantly offer my portion of sunflower seeds, dried apple and Metamucil tonight. I was greeted by cold silence. I thought about reminding her to not scratch several welts on her neck and arms delivered by a few gigantic mosquitos who clearly had been working out. But I decided to let that one go for now. 

It might have been better if it wasn’t so blasted hot. I could have sworn the forecast was for sunny and 65 degrees. Maybe that was tomorrow. I forget now. Anyway it probably was 90 in the shade- if there was any shade.  Sweat was poured down our necks like little rivers in the spring. 

As we sat on a log and stared at the small mountain a couple miles before us I reassured her- “It’ll only take us an hour or two to climb that. We’ll have a beautiful evening camping on the banks of the big lake on the other side. It’ll be very romantic. You’ll see”. She looked a bit more calm at that thought. Maybe it wasn’t calmness- perhaps it was quiet resignation.  

But then she grumbled- “I would feel much more confident about this hike if we had a map”. I reminded her that it was an accident that could happen to anybody.  “How was I supposed to know that the water in that river we crossed was five feet deep? I  couldn’t help it that the maps got washed away. At least we saved most of the stuff”. 

After another two hours we finally arrived at the base of the small mountain. Just then I recalled the map and the name of the mountain- “Dead Man’s Peak”. I decided I wouldn’t impress her with my memory of that detail. I was amazed about how much bigger it looked when you were at the base compared to a couple miles away. Still, I maintained my positive outlook- “We’re almost there. Let’s press on”.

I won’t bore you with all of the details of the next few hours. I was surprised though by the lack of any clear trail. The rocks seemed to be loosely attached to the hill and they were very happy to let us slide back a few steps for every few we took upward. I reassured her that the copperhead snake we encountered a few minutes earlier really wasn’t that dangerous- it was quite small. The bees and flies were annoying but she was not appeased by my suggestion- “Don’t swat and kill them- they’re all God’s creatures”. I didn’t know she knew so many of those words. I was impressed and a bit intimidated. 

We stopped about halfway up the mountain. I reluctantly brought up the issue of our baggage. If we had any chance of making it over the mountain and reaching the campsite by the lake before sunset, we would have to lighten the load. She said “Good, I’ll leave you here”- joking of course. We decided to leave the tent and the folding camp chairs, but we needed to take the sleeping bags and the bucket for the water. We pressed on with a sense of growing trepidation. 

The bird poop on her hat was the last straw. That was probably a sign of what was about to come a few minutes later. We both hit a patch of loose shale and fell back, rolling down the mountain smashing various organs and appendages before coming to rest on a flat ledge. 

It was quite a while before the rescue team arrived. Later we learned it was about 48 hours. The ranger, finding we did not return to our car, summoned the helicopter. They were able to spot us from the air. We staggered toward the landing site. I limped badly and could barely see as the bandage on my head partially covered one eye. The pilot looked us over as we stumbled along with our sleeping bags and bucket. He chuckled- “Well, well. It looks like Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pa…” I interrupted him- “Don’t say it”. 

After we were safely onboard I leaned over as the pilot was starting the engine and asked him- “Do you have any hiking recommendations?” He nodded and looked at my wife-”Yes- let her do the planning”.