Bad to the Bone

Paul, a light skinned man with a grey goat tee and jet black hair age 60 thinks he is bad to the bone. I am going out in the 80 degree sunny day in Terrelican Preserve, said Paul to his lovely wife Alice a short pretty brunette with soft light skin. Bye Paul, enjoy your walk to the Camel Town Center, I am going to finish the laundry, said Alice. Paul strolled down the street past Fred Mert’s house who always had his garage open which contained old tires, bags of bird seed, used furniture, bugs flying in front of his garage, small animals going in and out and broken down bikes. Fred, a burly, dark skinned man, bald, red faced probably from having too many scotches on the rocks and wearing red shorts with a blue tee shirt was watering his bushes out front. Fred waved and said Paul watch out for Sally Miller’s property because her dog Scrotto was pooping all over her property. Scrotto, a white and black stripped mutt whose mucous was draining from his nose to the ground while he walked around his property. Thanks Fred, I’ll watch out for the landmines of poop heaven, said Paul. Sally, a nasty short skinned lady walks around with two buck teeth. So Paul strolled by Sally Miller’s house shuffling his feet, head up high and smiling as his shoes squashed in the poop which was spread out on the edge of the driveway and grassy area. Ouch, Paul is not bad to the bone with smelly dirty shoes. Wow, that’s a stinker situation said Sally, as she picks up her garbage cans from the front of the property and is laughing profusely. Hey Paul, gosh you smell, why did you step in that pile of poop I saw earlier?, said Brito a mid- age ex salesman with thinning white hair walking by Sally’s house on the other side of the street. Can you at least let me use your hose to wash off my shoes in the street, Paul said to Sally as she finished up putting the garbage cans away. Sure Paul, sorry about the poop and I’ll bring the hose out to the street, said Sally. Paul, normally a calm, cool cat who had it all in life with a 5000 sq. foot house and a shinny white beamer in the driveway was seething through his teeth but somehow kept his cool. Thank you Sally for letting me wash off my shoes in the street a now humble, dejected Paul said to Sally. Paul wiped the sweat off his forehead, lifted his head high and stood up straight as he strutted his now clean tan converse sneakers down the street towards the destination of his walk, the Camel Town Center. Man, I really feel bad to the bone with my clean shinny shoes, said Paul. Paul walks in a moderate pace strutting his stuff looking for his neighbors to check him out as he walks. The next person Paul sees on the left side of the street is the voluptuous Annie Janie, a middle aged, dark skinned (probably too much sun bathing) brunette and former beauty queen sun bathing with a blue two piece bathing suit on her front yard. Paul is walking down the right side of the street. Hello Paul, Annie says as Paul stares and drifts towards her direction. At the same time, Paul is struck by a gold and white schwinn 21 speed bike and Paul falls hard to the ground on his back. Paul starts screaming and his shirt is torn on the back of his shirt and his hands are bloody and the skin is torn. Ow, that really hurts, said Paul who was also dazed from being hit with the bike. The biker, Max Harrow a well fit muscular light skinned middle aged man asked Paul if he was okay as well as Annie. My back is fine, said Paul as he got up real slowly. No more walking for me, said Paul. Could you take me to my house, said Paul to Annie. Sure, I’ll give you a ride to your house, said Annie as she smiled. Well Annie, I guess I’m not bad to the bone and hopefully next time I’ll make the walk to the Camel Town Center said Paul to Annie and she just kept smiling ear to ear.