Monthly Archives: January 2023

Bomber to Boomer to Cruiser

“How much longer are you going to ski”, she asked?  She likes a plan for everything we do, so I knew how to best answer.  I dutifully replied, “I thought we could do a couple of cruisers to finish.  Sunshine … Continue reading

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The Winner-Not!

At 11 a.m. my phone rang. I immediately picked up as I was waiting for a call from an exterminator. At 8:00 a.m. I had called Joe the Terminator, his idea of a clever play on words, to take care … Continue reading

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Cruisin’

The wad of soiled bills hit the ground with a thump.  The canvas bag holding it kicked up dust that settled on the big guy’s Doc Martens. Looking down at the bag, he said, “You bes’ be pickin’ dat up, … Continue reading

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Life is a Salad Bar

The salad bar is the quintessential object lesson for life. Life is full of choices. This or that. Do I stay or should I go. Each decision impacts other options made both before and after. Maybe you like rabbit food … Continue reading

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SORRY

Read the letter from your lawyer Monday morning Saw no anger saw no tears like before Said you needed to close this life chapter I can feel no more than sorry anymore I can do no more than close that … Continue reading

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Salad Bars

Lettuce, iceberg or romaine, spice it up or leave it plain, Cauliflower, chilled green beans, pickled beets, and collard greens, Diced broccoli and bacon bits, sliced black olives without pits, Add tomatoes, chunks of ham, edamame, soft-shelled clam, Celery, carrots, … Continue reading

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The Party’s Over

I can’t believe my watch- it must be broken. It says it’s 10:12. I’ve been here for two hours and 42 minutes. It seems like several hours. The second hand is moving so it’s still running. Oh well, only 18 … Continue reading

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The Bar

“Man, we should have left that party hours before we did. My head won’t be right for a week. How are you doing?” “Oh, come on Perry. It wasn’t that late. Besides, when I got home, I slept like a … Continue reading

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I can handle it

beep    was good to see u,  not mad at me?   didn’t mean to give u a hard time ding     u always give me a hard time beep    just don’t want u to waste all mom’s money on a salad bar … Continue reading

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A Party? No Thanks!

Another birthday, the eightieth since my actual day of birth, is looming. If I have my way, there will be no party celebrations to mark the occasion—no gathering of friends, no gifts, and most mercifully, no public rendition of that … Continue reading

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The Chump

“You were supposed to be dead,” a bystander screams glaring at my formerly lifeless body resurrect from the ground. “I feel like it,” I mumble, patting my hands over my chest taking stock of my body. I think I’m ok. … Continue reading

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The Night He Returned

“You were supposed to be dead!” Her scream bounced off the ceiling and dropped to the bare floor in a puddle of defeat. He had returned. The storm had awoken her, drawing her into the kitchen for a glass of … Continue reading

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ROGER FARMINGTON’S SISTER, MEG

“You were supposed to be dead!” The lahar came from Meg’s animated orifice as if a pyroclastic flow from Krakatoa. Her overheated vitriol gassed out like the encore during a Flo and Eddy concert. WTF! My sister Meg was a … Continue reading

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Friday Night

It was a regular Friday night at the bar, until the chubby guy strolled in. Well, technically in a few minutes it will be Saturday morning. Anyway, the chubby guy sat at the bar and ordered a whisky, straight up. … Continue reading

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Dead! Who Me?

“You’re supposed to be dead!” exclaimed the reclining figure with a multicolored coat. “Who told you that?” replied Blackey, while attempting to convey a look of shock and dismay. “People talk. I hear things. There aren’t many secrets around here. … Continue reading

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Well Hello Robert Redford

It was a regular night at the bar until she walked in. Now this was not your typical lower 48 bar. This was Alaska 1979. The town was Soldotna on the Kenai Peninsula. It was winter and 40 below outside. … Continue reading

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Crime Solved

They say it was intentional. There were 26 witnesses. Kyle claimed self defense when he was taken away in cuffs. The victim, a 27 year old woman, was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.  The police were on the … Continue reading

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Password To Pass

“You were supposed to be dead!” A small frown creases the forehead of the sylphlike seraph at the foot of my bed.  She is plump, reminding me of a Rubenesque Tinker Bell, and it is her elfin voice that has … Continue reading

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Shine

Used to be that sailors read the stars like a compass. Simply stretched their arms wide and hugged Polaris. If the North Star played hide-and-seek, then the pointer stars of the Big Dipper or the five stars of Cassiopeia would … Continue reading

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Miss Direction

A cat may have nine lives, but I don’t. Especially crossing where North West Street intersects with East South Avenue. I had arrived in plenty of time for my 10 a.m. interview for an actuarial position with Chancey Peeples in … Continue reading

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Pagu Pagu NEEEEEAAT!!

I was a catastrophic event that caused the great change. like an asteroid hitting the earth or mulcible volcanic eruptions and hurricanes, but it came quietly like a cat in the night. A slow insidious virus whose origin is yet … Continue reading

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Case Closed

He did it. There was no doubt about it. There was DNA evidence at the crime scene. The perpetrator was seen walking in the neighborhood minutes before the horrible murder. There was plenty of motives. The victim, Steve, was perpetually … Continue reading

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Out with the Old; In with the New

Traditions abound in the small town of Hope. Over the years, the town has been through many struggles, including opening and closing of factories, hard financial times, and personal losses, but nothing reduces the spirit of their community. Every Sunday … Continue reading

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Misdirection

How would you like to live in a world where everyone who chooses to can read your mind and you theirs? Now, just to make it more interesting, what if you have lost the ability to read everyone else’s mind? … Continue reading

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