Mr. Carlson’s Demise

The Coroner, Dr. James Harrison, sat at his desk with several piles of notes and reports. He glanced over to the table wishing Mr. Carlson would speak and finish the job. Mr. Carlson didn’t help much. All that was left of him were his charred remains. Some flesh escaped the inferno, but poor Mr. Carlson left only a few clues. Toxicology wouldn’t help much since there wasn’t anything to test. 

Harrison got up, stretched his back which was getting sore from sitting and pouring over all the police reports. Mr. Carlson had a busy and unfortunate life it appears. Harrison walked over to the table and whispered into the fractured skull, “What were you doing on the stairs carrying a candle at 2:00 AM?”. Mr. Carlson’s eye sockets just stared ahead. 

The fire marshal’s report indicated Carlson likely was carrying a candle down the stairs when he fell. The rest is history. But Harrison couldn’t close the file- too many questions. The police report found an empty whiskey bottle by the bed. Maybe Mr. Carlson was intoxicated and he decided he’d get another bottle. Then there were a dozen packages of snacks in a closet near the back door that somehow escaped the inferno.  Maybe Carlson had a craving for a late night snack. The fireman reported the front door was unlocked when they arrived. Maybe our victim was heading downstairs to lock the door. Questions- but no answers.

The candle question was an easy one though. Apparently our friend here didn’t pay his bills. The electricity had been turned off for the past two days. But why not pay the bills? Well, it appears that Mr. Carlson was quite a gambler and he was not very good at it. He was running a very big tab with the local booky, Alfredo, according to a neighbor. Carlson’s gambling led to his divorce after a couple of years of marriage. Carlson’s ex-wife, Lolita, lived only a few blocks away. She stated that “The bastard burned through years of my savings blowing it on gambling- he’s better off dead”. She had a key to the place “for emergencies”. She admitted she had used the key to retrieve a sofa “which was mine from my second marriage” shortly after their separation. 

Mr. Carlson was currently getting unemployment checks. His last job as a short order chef at Taco Sell was brief. He had taken money from the restaurant’s safe. It couldn’t be proved but the owner, Pablo, suspected Carlson was involved. Carlson was hated by his staff too. They reported he would often steal a bottle of liquor on the way out the door after cleaning up the kitchen late at night. According to the notes in the file the staff didn’t report this to the owner. The file quoted an employee, Thomas-  “We didn’t rat on him because he threatened to kill us if we did”. 

Mr. Carlson’s medical file was revealing. Although he took his medication for diabetes he also drank and ate too much. He had liver disease. He was a smoker and lately reported coughing spells. He had a few visits to the doctor’s office for falls as he was prone to fainting spells due to the poor diabetes management. The note in the file went on- “Mr. Carlson was a major pain to our office staff in addition to mocking my diagnoses and recommendations”.

Even Mr. Carlson’s dog was a suspect here. Fido apparently escaped through the dog door on the kitchen door. Neighbor Dave reported the poor dog was “hyper” and he often jumped on Mr. Carlson, occasionally knocking him down. They added, “The man deserved it since he often yelled at the dog and hit him when the dog barked too much”. 

Harrison scanned the numerous reports once more. He noted that the fifth stair was apparently loose. Neighbor Dave said “Mr. Carlson had a termite problem but he had refused to get an exterminator stating- I’ll die before wasting any money on bugs”. Neighbor Dave’s note concluded with-  “Good riddens- he was an awful neighbor- trash everywhere, the lawn unmowed and the house with peeling paint. He lowered the property values of the whole neighborhood”. 

Even the paperboy hated Mr. Carlson. Notes in the file indicated Bobby was the last one to see him alive. Bobby rang the bell and asked him to pay for two months worth of papers. Carlson reportedly shouted “Get the hell off my porch or I’ll have my dog rip your face off”. Bobby had made up his mind to eat the loss and never again see this “evil man” according to the detective’s note.

Dr.  Harrison pondered the facts. It’s certainly possible that Bobby threw a paper up at the bedroom window, awakening Carlson. Before that, Lolita may have opened the front door for Dave who loosened the step, also allowing Thomas to plant a stolen liquor bottle next to the bed. Dr. Gavin may have given Carlson a placebo instead of his insulin medication raising the fall risk. The dog could have made the final push at the top of the stairs. The two sets of tire marks on the edge of the lawn, noted in the file, may be from Alfredo’s and Pablo’s cars as they watched the scene play out with pleasure.  As he slid the body into the cooler Harrison spoke again to Mr. Carlson: “There’s going to be a lot of people at your funeral, probably your dog too. They will want to be sure you’re dead”. The cause of death on the report read “died due to bad choices”. 

Later, Dr. Harrison scanned the crowd at the funeral. He patted Fido and smiled and nodded to his fellow conspirators. He was now an accessory to murder.