The Joke’s on You

Even as a young boy, Oscar was always pulling pranks on his peers. This desire to place other people in embarrassing situations may have developed because of his name. His parents named him after a distant relative, not the Muppet character. Unfortunately for Oscar, the other kids only knew the name from Sesame Street.

Comments like, “Do you really live in a garbage can?” or, “Why are you so grouchy, anyway?” was an almost everyday occurrence. He felt picked on and alone throughout grammar school. The teachers were indifferent to Oscar’s situation and often contributed to his plight by disciplining him for acting out when all he was trying to do was defend himself.

Middle school was more of the same, with one exception: he finally figured out the art of payback. He wasn’t the biggest kid in his class or the strongest, but he was the craftiest. Chewing gum placed on a tormentor’s seat just before everyone entered the classroom created a sticky mess for his target. A small puddle of water on a seat meant the offending student had to walk around with a wet patch on their bottom while everyone pointed and laughed. Oscar was so clever at setting his traps that he was never caught.

Social dynamics shifted in high school. Boys and girls were more interested in looking attractive to the opposite sex than picking on someone with an unusual name. Now they simply ignored him. Being left alone allowed Oscar to spend all of his time studying. During the end of his senior year, he learned that his grades throughout high school were so exceptional he would be named class valedictorian.

Oscar thought his new status would help him get a date for the prom, but that was not to be. Every girl he asked, no matter where she was on the social ladder, turned him down. It was time for one last payback before graduation. His classmates had all arrived in the hall well before Oscar. They were busy dancing and socializing, which is precisely what he had hoped for. Tucked in his coat pocket were several placards that read Men and Women. Oscar stealthily skirted the hall perimeter and waited for clutches of girls to enter their respective restrooms and men to do the same. He then placed the sign reading Men over the Women sign and Women over the Men’s sign.

The next group of boys to enter the restroom were met with screams of surprise and shouts of indignation. The same was true for the women who entered what they thought was the ladies’ room. Oscar was beside himself with laughter. He left the hall shortly after the commotion.

Everyone suspected it was Oscar who had caused the embarrassing situation for much of the class, but no one could prove it. During the commencement ceremony, Oscar, as valedictorian, was required to give a speech. He talked about everyone finding future success in life. His last sentence caught their attention. “It’s never a good idea to ignore the smartest person in the room.”