Acts of Kindness

Neither a borrower nor a lender be!  This unfortunate advice from the English Bard is not something I ever sought to impart to my daughters.  Borrowing is an art, I tell them, and not at all the opposite of lending.  Both, in fact, constitute acts of kindness in response to others’ needs.

Mind you, not everyone is able or willing to be a lender.  A particular trait is needed, a willingness to be of help, a desire to satisfy the needs of others.  Being a lender is a simple act of kindness, but not everyone is capable of that.  For some folk, kindness does not come easy, so I have seen it as my duty, I tell my daughters, to help them learn.  I give people the opportunity to perform acts of kindness.

In that sense, I have always looked at borrowing as a kindness I can render unto others.  But it requires a keen intelligence, for it can involve difficult decisions.  As a borrower, I have to know what I need and where it might be found.  I have to make certain choices and offer certain guarantees to the lenders.  And in order to encourage and allow lenders to perform these acts of kindness, I must convince them it’s in their best interest to lend the requested items to me.

It is essential, therefore, that I make my request to borrow something in such a manner as to elicit agreement from the other party.  And of course, I must return the borrowed article in reasonable condition within an acceptable length of time if I’m to be able to continue borrowing in future.

It’s this last, pesky condition that has forever given me a lot of trouble.  I’m a borrower, and always have been.  But in my zeal to help others learn to perform these acts of kindness by lending me things, I’ve never fully mastered the art of it.  I always know what I need and where to find it; there’s no problem there.  And I’ve generally found other people willing to perform these acts of kindness by allowing me the use of whatever it is I’ve asked for.  But returning what I’ve borrowed in the same condition in which I received it has always been next to impossible.

Mind you, I’ve never taken something back in a worse state than I found it.  That wouldn’t be ethical—and besides, I’d soon run out of people who would agree to my borrowing their things!  I’d no longer be able to help them learn to be kind.

So instead, I’ve continually ended up spending my own money to repair or replace borrowed items, because, while in my tender care, they fall apart, get misplaced, or simply cease to operate. It’s gotten so bad, the people from whom I borrow stuff can hardly wait to see what wonderful surprises I’ll be bringing back to them.

One neighbour, for example, received a brand-new outdoor extension cord from me.  I ran over his with the electric lawnmower I borrowed from him when mine gave up the ghost.  It was on that same occasion I had a new on/off power switch installed on his mower—at my expense, naturally, since it cracked and broke while I was using it.

That same neighbour, on other occasions, had repairs made to his electric barbecue starter, his circular saw, and the front fender of his car, all paid for by me before returning the borrowed items to him. 

When his firm transferred him out west, the poor fellow cried at having to leave me!  As a going-away gift, I presented him with a new camera, to replace the old one I dropped overboard on our last canoeing expedition. He loved being kind to me.

Given my track record, it’s no wonder my family and friends—all of whom know of my propensity to mess up—grew so keen to perform these kindnesses for me.  In fact, I often had them calling me, or dropping by, to see if there’s anything I’d like to borrow from them. 

“It’s a simple act of kindness,” they’d say.  “It’s the least we can do.”

Some of the faster learners took to bringing along a list of replacement items they’d be happy to receive when the usual misfortune transpires.

As you might imagine, I eventually had to cut way back on my attempts to help people be kind.  I don’t think I lost my ambition to help them learn, but I discovered I just can’t afford to keep borrowing their things, only to have to repair, upgrade, or replace them before returning them. 

Nowadays, with my daughters’ encouragement, I borrow something only when I really, absolutely need it.  Right now, for instance, I have only one item borrowed from someone else, and only because I couldn’t do without it.  My computer broke down with a deadline pending, so I needed my sister’s electric typewriter—the one I’m using right now to finish this story.  She was overjoyed to be able to perform this act of kindness for me.

So far, touch wood, thx typxwritxr has bxxn opxrating vxry wxll, indxxd!

_{© J. Bradley Burt 2022}