The Hippy Chicks & The Alien

The Hippy Chicks & the Alien  by Diane Hanley 5/10/2022

It was Senior Day at Hippy Chicks Unique Boutique and Thrift Store on Main St in downtown Roswell, NM.  Everything (except the the best of the upscale brands like Chico’s or Ann Taylor) were 50% off!  Darlene and Deidra, the hippy chicks themselves, were tending the store.  It was always really busy from 10-12 on Senior Day, since all the ladies wanted first pick at the latest bargains of new and used clothing.  It was ho-hum by one!  The two were in the back, munching on their brought-from-home sandwiches, egg salad for Darlene, the more robust of the two and tuna salad for Deidra, the one with the curly grey hair, both sipping on their favorite flavors of Ice drinks.  Just then the bells they had affixed to the front door jingled and the two dropped their sandwiches and headed to the front of the store.  “Reeallly,”  Darlene drawled,  “Why now when I want to eat?”  

“Hush, the customer might hear you?” After a pause, looking around,  “Well, where is the lady?  Store seems empty!” exclaimed Deidra.

Just then from somewhere behind the two chicks, a strange sounding monotone voice, “I am going to need your assistance in finding the outfit of my dreams.  I did not escape to stand here on 50% off day and not get what I want.  I heard the ladies who care for me talk about this store over and over again.  They showed me your ad in the Roswell Daily Record, “Get the outfit of your dreams.  50% off on Senior Days.”

By now the two women had turned and saw the source of the voice.  Both ladies were staring with eyes wide open and Darlene had her hand over her mouth.  Who or what was this smaller person?  Deidra, always the imaginative leader exclaimed, “This IS Senior Day!  But we don’t give 50% off to children, ONLY Seniors!  We do carry petite sizes, however!”

The voice, raised said, “I am older than both of you combined times two at least.”

Darlene, the least hip of the two chicks, wasn’t persuaded and she certainly wasn’t going to back down.  “To prove you are a Senior, you have to show me your driver’s license, your Passport or have a bunch of wrinkles on your face!  Two times 70 is 140.  Times two again!  What?  You are not making sense!  What planet are you from anyway?”  

Voice answered, “NOT this one!  Are you trying to make me feel bad?  I haven’t been home since 1947 your time, about the time you two were born.  I have been in captivity ever since and have only just escaped my captors, at your USA government facility.  I have gotten away before, but they always found me and brought me right back.  This time, I WILL have the ‘outfit of my dreams’ and I WILL fool them and be able to actually get on a bus and  explore this planet, ‘Leaving the Driving to Us,” as in Greyhound Bus.  Their more recent ad states, ‘A Lot More Travel for a Lot Less Money.’  I want that SO much, to travel…..”

By now, the two chicks were hanging on every word.  After all they’d heard the rumors, the stories of an alien at the USGA Services Building behind the barbed wire fences outside of town.  Something about this creature especially touched them.  They had no fear.  It seemed wise and kind.  It stood less than five feet tall with a rather pale complexion and large lovely green eyes, dressed in a light grey tunic, darker grey leggings with a large black beret hat . It DID need a fashion remake, new style, some flair, Deidra thought.  But what was it, a male or a female?  She blurted out, “Are you a man or a woman?”

The answer came quickly, “I am both.  Your government people insist I am male, but where I live, we are bigenders.  But if I can dress as a woman and get on a Greyhound out of here, I can finally fool those they send after me.  Won’t you help me?”

Darlene and Deidra both shook their heads at the same time, “Yes, yes, we will help.  So unfair to keep you locked up all this time. Yes, being a woman you can get away with a smaller stature,”  Darlene commented.  “Let’s get you outfitted.  Step into the dressing room and we will bring you clothes to try on.  Then we will drive you to the bus station, won’t we, Deidra?”  

“Do you have money?  How will you live?”  Deidra asked.

“Oh yes, my captors just love to play poker  and other betting games and I am very good at beating them.  I have been stashing away money for years, just waiting for the right opportunity.”

“Oh, good,”  Deidra sighed.  “I will get you that suitcase I have in the backroom and you shall have several “dream outfits” to take with you.  Nobody rides on a bus without a suitcase!”

Within the hour, the two chicks had Miss Alice, as in Alice Alien, which is what they had laughingly called her, in her “dream outfit.”  Alice now also had her own suitcase packed full with lots of “dream outfits,” as well as two half sandwiches, one egg and one tuna in a brown paper bag, inside one of the store’s plastic bags with the Hippy Chick Unique Boutique logo on it (a sixties yellow VW Beetle).  Alice was ready to travel.

The store closed, the three went out the back door and got into the VW bus with all the flowers that Deidra and Darlene had painted on it over the years.  They decided to head for the bus station in Albuquerque—much safer to get out of town, they agreed.  It was a touching scene when the chicks said goodbye to Alice.  He/she was visibly excited to be on the way to a new life and many adventures.  

The ladies never were questioned by any authorities.  After all, why would an escaping alien go into a place called, “Hippy Chicks Unique Boutique and Thrift Store?”