Ahead of the Curve

I like to think that doing what’s necessary to keep our house running in top shape is a joint venture between my wife and me. We stay ahead of the curve and run a tight ship, metaphorically speaking, of course. Therefore, when my wife announced she wanted to return to her hometown for a visit with family and friends for three weeks, I wasn’t concerned. On the contrary. I planned to surprise her by completing a couple of projects I had been putting off for years, the largest of which was organizing the garage and painting the floor.

The big day arrived! I loaded her luggage into the car and we headed for the airport. After helping her check her bags and watching as she cleared security, I headed for home.

Halfway to the house, my phone rang. My wife was calling to remind me to pick up my dry cleaning. Once again, we said goodbye, and I made a U-turn heading for the cleaners. It was only 15 minutes out of the way, so I was still on schedule. There wasn’t a real schedule, just an imaginary list of chores starting with the garage.

In the same plaza as the cleaners, was the grocery store we, actually she, shopped at. A distant memory of a conversation pushed its way to the front of my mind. I remember her telling me we were low on milk and several other things. While I was in the store, I spied several items that I didn’t need, but bought anyway. Impulse buying is why she does the shopping.

I arrived home an hour later, unable to stop for gas because I had ice cream in the trunk. Guess I should have bought gas first. Car unpacked, groceries put away, the whole task took me a little over an hour. She seemed to do it a lot faster. I guess we have different ways of doing things. Just as I was about to enter the garage, the phone binged. It was a text from Costco pharmacy reminding me my pills were ready for pickup. This was one more interruption I hadn’t planned for

Before I left the house, I put in a load of wash. It took me a while to decipher the multiple wash settings, but once I pushed start, it sprang to life and I headed to Costco, satisfied that these mundane chores would continue without a hitch until she returned. After all, I was single once and survived for multiple years on my own.

Costco is a place filled with distractions. To reach the pharmacy, you must first pass through the electronics department where 85” televisions mesmerize the senses with 3D-like clarity. From TVs and computers, the shopper is forced to meander through patio furniture, clothing, snack foods, and diet supplements, finally reaching the rear of the store where the pharmacy lives. I waited in a short line that moved quickly. Pills in hand, I returned to the car where I waited in another, longer line for gas. Total time lost, one more hour. The curve was flattening.

Since I was already out, it made sense to stop by Home Depot and collect the items I needed for the garage. It took a while because of all the great gadgets they have to look at, but I finally left with epoxy paint and everything else I needed for my project. By the time I got home, it was really too late to start on the garage. Now the curve was in front of me. 

I was hungry and nuked some leftovers my wife had thoughtfully frozen for me. She knows how much I hate to cook and didn’t want me living on TV dinners for three weeks. With the day almost over, I decided I could at least iron some clothes. It would have been a good idea, but I had forgotten to transfer the wash to the dryer.

For the next three weeks, the curve ruled me. I got the garage done, but not much else. I never got ahead of the curve until she returned.