Mr. U.T.R. Chitchat

MR U.T.R. CHITCHAT  by Diane Hanley 4/10/22

Mr. Chichat knew his place at the Firm Of Dubitable and Patent.  He was proud to be a Researcher Level 4 of Words.  Not JUST “words,”  mind you, but what they HAD meant and what they DID mean now, as well as, what they MIGHT come to mean.  He was not only an expert of bygone days’ vocabulary, but a researcher of ALL words from any source:  letters, emails, social media, text messages, podcasts, tv, movies, magazines and books   U.T. R. recorded and researched past and present word usage, in order to predict future uses of words and variations in word usage.  He had a mind for words and a memory of them equal to any computer.  He was no fuddy-duddy, stuck in the past!  No, Chitchat was forward-looking! Think of the word, “woke.”  It was first added to the dictionary in 2017.  It meant someone who was “alert to injustice in society.”  Now, U.T.R. says this word is being used as an insult.  Word usage changes rapidly, very rapidly, he claims.

Chitchat likes to explain the word “movie”  and how it came from the phrase moving pictures, which was coined around 1908-1913.  Those moving pictures or silent films were popularized around even earlier, 1880-1900.  Chitchat could tell anyone who was interested enough to ask, that Tom Edison said that talkies would never replace silent films, even though Edison had invented a way to do so, himself, with the phonograph, in 1877.  Chitchat would love to reveal to people such quotes as what Henry Ford said about the word “war”— that people were becoming too intelligent to ever have another war!  Chitchat laughs respectfully at the puerility of bright people.  His own mind, he understood was a vast catalog of dates, inventions, quotes and facts about words, involving both famous and not so famous people! 

Mr. U.T.R. Chitchat could tell us that our words can have life-or-death consequences.  Words he would say could crush a person’s spirit or give them strength and hope.  His latest research involves our present day “electronic devices,” as he calls them.  Our present, he claims, is bombarded by a cacophony of sounds that drowns out our peace.  Just too much malarkey!  He quotes T. S. Elliot who said in 1930, “Where shall the word be found, where will the word resound? Not here,  there is not enough silence.”  U.T.R. states emphatically that our future will be more bumfuzzled and radically worse unless we silence all the noisemaking devices.

Chitchat says we need to put away our electronic components and remain in the present with family and friends and nature, listening and speaking and interacting in person.  He makes the point, that we are missing all the beauty around us as we try to keep up with the noise and information from our devices.  We have the possibility of becoming more  cattywampus, if we don’t get a grip on the hullaballoo!

Chitchat says we need to return to our long-lived previous values, like patience, kindness and self-control.  He is upset by his research into the internet—too many words, too many complaining, angry, attacking and defensive words.  He has found that the negative words outnumber the positive words.  He has counted the word “hate” and “liar’ and many other destructive curse and slang words, and he claims it is three to one now, almost four to one — negative over positive words.   U.T.R. declares that he means what he is saying and is no hoodwinker!

Chitchat is planning to quit his job soon because he wants to start a new organization of people who actually interact with each other positively and only positively.  He wants it to be a place where people encourage and help each other!  He will call it “LoveBook” or “InstaKind” or maybe , “NiceTok” or “NiceTalk.”  

U.T.R. Chitchat is looking forward to listening to nature, reading for fun and being at “peace” again in a world that he believes has gone crazy.  He quotes a dead songwriter and singer, John Lennon, “I’d give you everything I’ve got for a little peace of mind.”  Chitchat might even change his name to U.T.R. Peace.  Yes, utter peace, instead of utter chit chat!