Yes, Dear!

“Ralph!”

“Yes, dear.”

“I’m having the girls over for a late afternoon get-together, so you’ll need to find someplace to go for three or four hours. Can you do that?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Good! Before you go, I have a list of items for you to get at the grocery store. I’d get them myself, but I have an appointment to get my hair and nails done. It wouldn’t be proper to have everyone over while I look like this. You understand, don’t you, Ralf?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Now, it’s very important that you get everything on this list and be back in time to get it all prepared. You know how fussy these ladies are about their food. Buy only the items and brands that are on the list. Just stick to the list and you should be all right. Okay, Ralph?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Ralph, what’s taking you so long? I’ve been back for over an hour and you’re still not home. Do you have everything on the list?”

“Yes, dear. I’ll be home shortly.”

“Well, it’s about time! Help me unload the bags before you go. Wait, what is all this stuff: Cream, Bread, Black-Eyed Peas, Cranberries, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Meat Loaf, Vanilla Ice? None of this is on the list I gave you.”

“Yes dear, it is. See for yourself. You gave me strict instructions to only buy what is on the list. That’s what I did.”

“You idiot! That’s my playlist, not my shopping list.”

“Have a delightful time, dear. I’ll be home after the card game at Ed’s. We’re having chips, sandwiches, and beer.”