Interactive Navigation

It was long overdue. No more monotone directions. When I make a mistake, no more “I’m reprogramming your route” or worse still- thirty seconds of cold shoulder silence followed by more directions. I’m glad I chose “Annie” as my navigator. I also selected option 5 service which will give me tons of praise and positivity. That’s just great in these stressful times. 

I entered the destination on the screen in our rental SUV. After I hit “start” I was delighted to hear Annie’s voice- it was sweet and encouraging as advertised. “Hi, Lee. I’m looking forward to riding with you on your journey from the Boston Logan Airport to the Wayward Suite Hotel in Woosta”. She chuckled a bit. “I hope you don’t mind, Lee, if I speak like a Bostonian. I think it’s quaint”. I knew this would be a delightful ride. “Annie, we’re going to get along great”. “I’m sure we will”.

“By the way, Lee is my favorite name. It’s so strong. Anyway, I will get us right into the Ted Williams Tunnel, Lee and then onto the Mass Pike just as you asked”. 

Annie announced in her smiling voice “Your trip will take 58 minutes and you’ll arrive at 7:09 PM with current conditions”. The first 15 minutes were pure pleasure. I asked her to sing “The Man Who Never Returned” by the Kingston Trio. It was about a poor fellow who got lost on the subways in Boston.  “Lee, I’m sorry but I will have to look that up on Spodify”. We sang it together on the replay while I navigated the light early evening traffic. As I made some recommended lane changes she said in her slightly sultry voice, “Nice job Lee. Keep it up”. We both laughed. 

By the time we hit Newton, the rain suddenly changed to blowing snow. I struggled to see the lines in the road. The driving suddenly became tense and a bit dangerous. I hesitated at first, but I decided to bring this up with Annie. After all, we were becoming friends already. “Annie, I don’t mean to be critical but how come you didn’t tell me it was snowing just west of Boston?”. Her voice became slightly snarky- “Lee, you do know I can’t see, don’t you?” 

“Sorry Annie. I wasn’t thinking. But,  just a suggestion- maybe you could call Jim Kantore over at the weather channel in the future before you start a trip”. “That’s a wonderful idea Lee. You’re so, so smart. Unfortunately due to the weather and slower speeds we will arrive at 7:49 PM”. We struggled with the poor visibility, lane shifts and the absence of lane markings for 15 miles adding more time- 8:07 PM now. Finally, we came to the Mass Pike exit. “Lee, at the exit you will take route 146 for 5.3 miles, then I-290 west. It’s simple. You’re doing really well. I can’t say how much of a pleasure it has been driving with you”. She added-  “By the way, Jim over at the weather channel says hi and he tells us the snow will be over in 5 hours”. 

“OK Lee. Your exiting the Pike was flawless. Now stay on 146 for 3.5 miles. We are going to be taking 290 west then. We drove along without any problems for the 3 miles. “Now, take a sharp right turn 500 feet ahead onto 290”. Unfortunately, I must have turned right in just 200 feet because 290 was nowhere in sight. “Don’t worry, Lee. I’ve got this. Just keep going straight ahead on Grafton Street”. A couple minutes later, “Oops, sorry Annie. I thought this would be a shortcut to 290. Grafton Street looked a bit sketchy after we passed that bar and tattoo shop”. “Lee, you’ll just have to trust me here. This is not my first rodeo, you know. Just do exactly what I say.” “Yes, dear”, I answered sheepishly. The new arrival time was adjusted to 8:31 PM. Annie did not sound happy. 

We were now on Vernon Street. It was narrow and full of potholes. Little light bulbs flickered in the snow on the back porches of three decka tenements. I suspect this quy Vernon, after whom the street was named, was a drug dealer or a mass murderer.  Beat up cars with rust and dents lined both sides of the narrow road.  I would not experiment with any explorations on my own. Annie cautioned me, “No more improvisations”. Finally we returned to 290.

“Very good, Lee. Continue on 290 for just 3.1 miles. Take exit 12 A and then go right onto  Millbury Street.” A few seconds later- “Lee, what are you doing here? You turned on exit 12 B”. I responded, “Since when does A come after B?”. There was an uncomfortable pause. “OK, Lee, we will get through this and arrive by 8:47 PM”. After taking several one way streets with a few more errors we were back on 290. The new arrival time was 9:21 PM. I knew we were close. I made the turn at exit 12A. My heart sank as I saw the sign said- “Fitchburg, 14 miles”.  “Annie you said go right onto Millbury Street” I offered in my defense. “Lee, I did say right on the first pass. Returning in the opposite direction I told you to turn left”. 

The car drifted to the side of the road and rolled to a stop. “Annie, what’s happening?” “I’m so sorry, Lee.  I am programmed to disable the car after six errors”. In a cheery voice she continued, “On the bright side, the police car and tow truck should be here in exactly 7.5 minutes. Your new arrival time will be 11:49 PM due to the paperwork you will need to complete, including the credit card charges for the towing. Tomorrow will be much, much better. Bye, now”. How I longed for the days of paper road maps- free at the gas stations. Sure, you’d get lost but you’d meet interesting people who would give you good directions, sometimes.