Perchance to Dream

I thought the purpose of sleep was to rest and recuperate from the stressful day. Why is it then, that dreams are almost always interfering with that recovery process? In my dreams it seems I can never find anything or worse still I can’t recall what I’m supposed to be looking for. Yes, that can happen when I’m awake too. But at least I can look for my list or ask somebody, “What was it I was supposed to get?” In my dreams I have nobody to help me out, except maybe a two headed cow but what does she know?

Then there’s the thriller part of dreams. Being chased by bandits, dragons or worse still, your mother carrying a stack of homework. It’s no fun. There’s no place to hide. If you do try a door it’s always locked. If you try to climb a tree you end up falling out and landing in quicksand. It never turns out well. In waking life I can always call 911 or Cilleno and Barnes to sue someone. 

But the worst part of dreams is being perpetually lost. There are no street signs and no landmarks. Places may look vaguely familiar but they usually morph into a scene like a locked psychiatric ward, a scene where the “It” clown is beckoning you to join him in the sewer or you are in an endless line in some unfamiliar store that won’t move. Even if you survive the sewer and the line you won’t be able to find your car. Yes, I know that happens too in real life. But in the waking state I can always hit the panic button and my car will beep which translates from car talk- “Hey, stupid. I’m over here!”.

Even if I am lucky enough to find my car, in Dreamland there is no escape. I will just drive around in circles only to be accosted by a herd of baboons washing my windshield at a stop sign, for bananas of course. With luck I can shake them off by driving real fast but I will likely drop into a big hole and they will all stand around the rim of the crater throwing banana peels at me. 

Oh yes, in real life you can often become lost. But you can always use your cellphone to find out your exact position on the planet within a foot or so. It will even tell me where you were just a few minutes ago and how many steps it took you to get from there to here. But not in dreams. Oh, no. Cellphones are not allowed in dreams due to the lack of a cell tower. If you try to use your cellphone it will just beg you to sign up for Bixby or a trial of a free erectile dysfunction medication. So don’t bother bringing your phone to Dreamland. 

So, back to my initial query. What’s the purpose of dreams? Is it just God’s sense of humor to amuse himself or herself? Is it designed to entertain us when we are bored during sleep? Or do dreams serve a purpose? I think the latter. Dreams probably exist for us to experience being out of control. When we are out of control we have no choice but to be open and engaged. We think that we are in complete control of our waking lives. Dreamland reminds us of reality. We actually have no idea what is coming in real life and often we have no plan to deal with it. Dreams can alert us to risks and problems ahead. They can also provide some answers to vexing problems you’ve dwelled on the previous day.. The brain has been running a subroutine in the background and it will often announce the solution to you  in your sleep. Dreams can also promote some of our most innovative and creative ideas- unfiltered by our waking memories and opinions on the matter- like this essay.

Hold on. I hear a buzzer. It’s your alarm clock. I guess it’s time for you to wake up. Write all this down quickly before you forget …