THE QUEST

THE QUEST

It was the same scenario every day. Little or no variation. The Clampitt family arose at five AM. Jedediah and his oldest son, Obediah, did all the chores: milked the cows, slopped the pigs, fed the chicks and mucked out the horse stalls.

Breakfast was served at exactly seven AM by Japatha Clampitt, the matriarch of the family, and her daughter, Cleopatra. They got up right after the men, stoked the fire in the pot-belly stove, added more wood and started the cooking; which consisted of congealed pork fat, taken out of a half-gallon can that was always kept on the right side of the stove and was used to prepare some hogbacks, chitlins, thick slabs of pork bacon and fried eggs (always sunny side up) with fried taters.

After breakfast, Obediah on his favorite horse, Moses, rode out to court his girlfriend, Annabella. He rode for hours on end, but could never find her. This routine was repeated every day. The Clampitts thought this behavior to quite strange, but did nothing to stop it. Knowing Annabella did not exist, Japatha always said, “That boy is a bit tetched in the head. Ever since he were a young boy he were a bit strange, but he’s a good boy and he ain’t doin’ no harm.”

After a year of this behavior, Jedediah got frustrated and firmly stated, “I done had enuf’ of y’all lookin’ fer some woman that never been livin.” Obediah screamed, “She do too be livin! I’ll find her. You kent stop me!”

So Obediah continued his quest until one day he happened upon an abandoned miner’s camp deep in the woods. He went into a cabin and looked around. He did not find his Annabelle, but found an old sack with her name on it! He couldn’t wait to tear open the bag. He was sure he’d find important clues that would lead him this one and only true love. He opened it and found nothing about Annabelle, but the bag was filled with gold ore! He tied up the bag and quickly rode home.

He proudly showed his discovery to ma and pa Clampitt. Paw, overjoyed, stated, “Ain’t never done seen anything like it. I ain’t gonna pick on that boy no more! He may be tetched in the head, but I gest don’t care.”

The Clampitts lived out their lives in relative luxury.

Obediah kept looking for his ”one true love”, but no one ever cared.

Obediah’s sister, Cleopatra, married a local gent, John C. Calhoun, who later was elected to the senate of thee United States! Her dowry was made possible by her brother’s futile quest for love. 

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…