CAN YOU IMAGINE

CAN YOU IMAGINE

He had no idea how he got there. He was butt-down, feet-up in a garbage can, located somewhere he had never seen before. The last thing he remembered was the party with Sheila. Loud music was playing, the “Can-Can”, from the opera “the Tales of Hoffman”, by Jacques Offenbach. Eerie – in a can, hearing the “Can-Can”?

He painfully extricated himself from the metal prison, tried to get up but was too sore to do so. He just floundered amongst the garbage in the alley. His clothes were in tatters, he stunk and had no money. To cap it all off he knew not where he was, how he got there nor what to do next.

Having no choice, he bummed coins from passers-by on the street. When got enough for a phone call, he went into a candy store and dialed what he thought was his home number. A voice with a strong Spanish accent answered. He asked, “Who lives there?” The maid, Candida, told him that this was the apartment of Chuck Candy, but he wasn’t in. At least he finally knew who he was. “Senor Candy no here. I no see him for three days. No know when he be back.”

Chuck said, “That’s alright, I’ll call back. Wait a minute, what’s the address where you are at?” “Senor Candy no want me to tell that!” “That’s okay, I’m Mr. Candy.” After much convincing, Candida said, “So silly, you live in Montreal, Canada.” She finally gave him the address. He thanked her and hung up.

He flagged a taxi and gave the driver his address. When he got there, he convinced the driver to wait while he got money. The driver followed him into the apartment and got his fare plus a big tip.

After he bathed, shaved and had something to eat, he felt much better and slowly reconstructed the past day’s events. He remembered attending a party at this dive, “Le Bistro de Can-Can”. He drank a lot and got into a brawl with a much bigger dude who kicked his behind and stuffed him into the garbage can.

He slept most of the next day and woke up with a severe pain in his back and an odd-looking rash, both probably from the garbage can incident. He went to the emergency room where he was diagnosed with a severe case of Candidiasis, a yeast infection more commonly found in woman. He was treated with anti-fungal medication, but it proved to be too late. The infection entered his blood stream, traveling to different organs in his body. Serious infections of his heart, brain and eyes ensued. The medical staff had never seen anything like it.

The infection proved to be life-threatening.

He passed away just days later!

His last thought before he died was, “A can can kill you!”