Brownie Wowie

Today on Candid Camera, we’re featuring a generation gap of hilarious proportions. Gwen Smithe held a spectacular birthday party for her child which went out of control, while her parents and most of the adults were in the house. We placed cameras inside and outside for today’s show and then called the police to create some drama. Let’s listen in to what happened when the police were called.

Officer: Ma’am my name is Officer Crump. We’ve had some reports of noise and disturbances in the neighborhood.

Gwen: Officer, I’m Gwen Smithe. I can’t believe someone called the cops. Well maybe I can. You see, it’s my son’s sixth birthday party and we wanted this to be his best birthday ever. It’s been a difficult year. He just started first grade and it’s been very hard being away from him all day; I mean hard on him being away from us all day. So we went all out with a magician, cowboy pony rides, some carnival games and a jump castle. And yes, one hundred people is a lot for a kid’s birthday party but by the time we had the kids from school, their parents, the neighbors, the neighborhood kids, and of course, family, it adds up.

Officer: Mrs. Smithe, besides the noise, the complaint also said there were ponies defecating in the neighbors’ yard, a rabbit eating another neighbor’s petunias and one neighbor complained of birds, this says doves, leaving droppings all over their car.

Gwen: Oh no. I’m so sorry. That must be the cowboy and magician’s animals. They just disappeared. It all started with my parents and my husband’s parents. You see, Glen and I were next door neighbors growing up, so our parents have been friends forever. They were supposed to help us out today, but they just stayed in the house listening to their hippie 60’s music, dancing and laughing the whole time. And one by one, all the adults ended up in the house. I don’t understand it, I even banned alcohol so they wouldn’t carouse in here by themselves, like they always do. I mean, it is a kid’s birthday party after all, you don’t need a bar. And they were supposed to help us out. They did nothing, worse than nothing. That’s why things got out of control officer. Glen’s mother Shirley didn’t even make her brownies for the treat buffet.

Officer: Sorry, it’s hard to hear. Did you say cheap today?

Gwen: No, treat buffet. I thought it would be fun to have a treat buffet with cake, ice cream, candy, cookies and brownies. We even hired a cotton candy machine. There were supposed to be fifty different kinds of treats, everything a kid could ask for. But no brownies. Glen’s mother Shirley was supposed to make 100 of her special secret recipe brownies. I don’t know what happened to them. I’m sorry officer.  

Officer: Sorry, I can barely hear you. Did you say special brownies? Ok, well, I guess I’ll speak to the people inside the house.  But you really do need to keep the noise down. Those kids are about to break the sound barrier.

The party outside was loud, really loud and out of control. Kids were hanging off the jump castle, feeding cake to the ponies, chasing the rabbit and doves and throwing balls and cotton candy at each other. Officer Crump went inside the home where 30 adults were gathered inside the house, quietly listening to Simon and Garfunkel music.

Officer: Wow, what a difference. You can hardly hear all the screaming out there. I’m Officer Crump, I’m looking for Glen’s mother, Shirley?

Shirley: I’m Shirley, officer.  How can I help?

Officer: Well, ma’am, we had a call on the noise and other disturbance and your daughter-in-law told me to talk to you. She said all the adults abandoned her and came in here.

Shirley: Officer, to be honest, we’re hiding out. You can hear it out there, it’s a zoo! My daughter-in-law means well, but this generation spends so much time trying to outdo the Jones and over-please their children, they can’t see straight. We came with the best intentions of helping, but every time I opened the door, I just couldn’t make myself go out there. It’s like bedlam.

Officer: Well, the other Mrs. Smithe said the adults kept coming in here and staying with you instead of helping with the kids.

Shirley: They were escaping! The caterer, the cake delivery person, the cowboy, magician and a lot of the relatives did come in here for some peace. But you can hardly blame them. Who wants to put themselves in the line of fire when they can just chill out and listen to the Sounds of Silence. She banned alcohol at the party, so some peaceful music and adult conversation is all we could offer them. You know it must have been bad out there for them to prefer the company of bunch of grandma and grandpas.

Officer: Ok ma’am, I understand. But, if you could help her out, that may help keep the mayhem and noise level down. Goodbye.

Officer Crump left and the adults in the house sighed with relief. Little did the police know, but they were having a different kind of party inside. Let’s listen in.

Magician: Wow, that was close. I was sweating over there, but you were cool as a cucumber, Shirley. I thought we were all going down the station.

Cowboy: Hey, are there any more of those special brownies?

Shirley: No, we had to get rid of the evidence. We couldn’t remember which ones I made for the kids and which I made for the adults, so we ate all 200 brownies.

There you have it. No evidence, no crime, everybody just having a good time. Tune in next time when a troupe of circus clown accuse each other of assault in a mini-cooper.