Christmas Murder

Sherlock approached the crime scene slowly, gazing left and right in search of clues. He paused at the mailbox, opening the door slowly. He withdrew a pile of mail, glancing at each envelope, then returning it all to the box. He looked over the one-story ranch house. Christmas lights perfectly strung along the roof line and among the front hedges, were all shining brightly at this late morning hour. The shades were drawn. Watson was at his side with a small note pad and pen in his hand, ready to take notes.

The patrolman walked up to Sherlock, assuring him that nobody has disturbed the crime scene. Sherlock bent down near the body to push aside a few leaves and grass blades. Watson mumbled, “It looks like murder” to which Sherlock replied “Follow the evidence, Watson”.

The body was prone on the front lawn, twisted and mangled. Sherlock knelt down at the foot of the body. He gently lifted the right leg of the body. It’s black boot appeared to have no dirt or soot. The pants and suit were bright red and also showed little sign of wear. The face was not visible in this prone position but the white beard protruded a bit. With the classic wide black belt, it was clear- the victim was Saint Nicholas, aka Santa.

Hardened by years of crime scenes Watson was still shaken by this horrible event. “How could anyone murder Santa?”. Sherlock stood and breathed deeply before stating, “Watson, this was not a murder”. Watson looked shocked, “What else could it be?”.

“It’s elementary my dear Watson. First, the home owner has been away for three days as we can see by the mail in the box. It’s likely to have been an impulsive decision to visit a relative as they did not stop or forward the mail. Perhaps there was a sudden illness. Second, we see the lights were on for the duration of the holiday, even during the day, suggesting the owner wanted the lights to remain on or perhaps again, there was a hasty departure. Third, we know that the owner is careful and neat. We can see this by the shape of the yard and the careful placement of the decorations. He or she would not countenance this disturbance in their yard without reporting it or dealing with it. Fourth, there is no indication of violence or disturbance of the grass around the body. Fifth, there is no evidence of cuts or gunshot wounds in the body”.

Sherlock sighed, as he again knelt beside the body, lifting the right leg. “Furthermore, he’s not even dead”. With several big breaths applied to the right leg the body slowly began to inflate. With the assistance of Watson and the patrolman, Santa was fully re-inflated. Sherlock made sure the valve was securely fastened.

As the famous crime solving duo stood on the walk along with the smiling patrolman, Santa waved a firm goodbye. Watson said in a loud, cheerful voice, “Merry Christmas, Sherlock”. Sherlock replied, “And a blithesome festive season to you and Mrs. Watson”.