STIMULUS

STIMULUS

    A new stimulus bill was just signed into law by the president. The bipartisan act would require all American citizens to mail the U.S. Government a $1200 check.

    It took months of often acrid negotiations, but Congress and the white house finally reached a deal on this new “Corona Virus Stimulus Bill”.

    “The new bipartisan legislation will go a long way to help all Americans relieve the crippling economic effects of the Covid-19 pandemic”, stated treasury secretary, Norman Greenback. He added that the administration would very soon mail out blank checks for the people to fill out in the agreed amount of $1200.00. These checks, payable to the U.S. Treasury are to be returned in a postage-free envelope also provided. This material should be mailed out as early as next week.

    The new legislation will contain provisions for any American earning greater than $80,00.00 per year to send a smaller check. The more one makes the less will be the amount sent.

    “There is no getting around the fact that the economy is hurting”, stated Commerce Secretary, F. Arthur Tradesman. “The optimal method to boost it is to mandate that all Americans of all races, countries of origin and economic situations send their dollars to the Pentagon and senators directly.”

    The final legislation was a bipartisan compromise. Democrats wanted the amount to be $1000.00, not the $1400,00 requested by Republicans. Ergo, the $1200.00 figure. ” During this very difficult time, citizens will appreciate the extra 1200 out of their pocketbooks and into government hands”, stated House majority leader, Brenda Gold.

    This stimulus will reportedly also include significant provisions to help small mom and pop businesses close.