Google is Never Wrong

Look, I know you hate to be told what to do, especially by some anonymous person who sits somewhere behind your dashboard or hovers over you, behind the overhead car light. Be honest, you probably have challenged Google and followed your own route. And you know how that goes. Google is never wrong. I want to assure you that you must obey Google in all things. Here’s why I came to that conclusion.

I was driving along I-75 on my usual commute to Tampa. It was Monday morning October 19^th 2020. Bumper to bumper traffic sprawled out to the horizon as I switched off and on between the latest stock market activity and the dreadful world news. I had a big meeting and I would just make it according to Google, 5 minutes early. Then, Google announced that there was an accident 12 miles ahead and I must exit at the next opportunity. She was very emphatic. I exited and dutifully followed her instructions.

I followed what she called “your best route” through a few small towns. It seemed that I was going further inland than necessary, but Google knows best. I noted an increasing absence of cars and people. One little town had no apparent Starbucks or McDonald’s. Incredible. About an hour into this journey it was obvious that the meeting would not happen. By now I was out of cell tower range so I couldn’t even cancel. For some reason the satellite was working, thankfully. I asked Google for some music and she promptly started playing some Miles Davis jazz. I’d almost forgotten my love for jazz with my busy life.

I saw a small parking lot ahead and pulled off to stretch my legs for the final hour drive to Tampa. I noted the small sign on the fence- “Botanical Gardens”. Curious, I strolled into this new world. Beautiful plants of all sizes and shapes had found this new home. Air plants clung to trees and birds chirped and sang all about me. A smell of exotic flowers mixed with musty dampness. A light breeze kept the heat in check. A tiny stream meandered by with a few butterflies flitting about. I sat on a large rock and listened to the gurgle of a small waterfall.

I spotted two turtles facing one another on a rock. They seemed to be having a slow conversation. I doubt that they were aware of the pandemic or the climate change crisis. It was at that moment that the love of my life wandered over and sat on a rock next to me. She sat down with her sketch pad and entered the turtles’ world.

I will be forever grateful for Google’s error. The one time she was wrong was the time I turned my life around. Melisa and I have lived nearby for the past five years. We have developed a lovely landscaping business using native vegetation and recaptured rainwater. We find our pleasure in the sunrise, the gentle breezes fanning the palm leaves, and the power of nature’s performance art- a glorious thunderstorm rolling in over the plains. We share this little heaven with a few of our neighbors over coffee at the local dinner. Now and then we see an annoyed traveler march in with a briefcase and cell phone in hand. Invariably they say something like- “Google was wrong. She said this was the best route”.  

I send the angry traveler to the Botanical Garden. Google is never wrong.