The Great Debate

There have been many memorable debates since the beginning of mankind: Brutus v. Marc Antony, Lincoln v. Douglas, and Kennedy v. Nixon have all earned their place in history. None has been more contentious than the battle between Grandma Parker’s custard pie with graham cracker crust and meringue topping versus newcomer Mildred O’Connor’s blueberry pie with a buttery pastry crust and lattice top.

The face-off took place at the State Fair held in West Springfield, Massachusetts. Every year people from all over New England attend the two-week long event enjoying carnival rides, playing questionably operated games of skill, viewing livestock, and generally having a good time. However, the real star of events like these which are held from California to Maine isn’t the salesman demonstrating his indestructible pots and pans or newly developed car polish, it’s the food. Corn dogs, cotton candy, fried ice cream—anything and everything to tantalize the taste buds and harden the arteries.

Over the past fifteen years, the queen of the baking competition has been hometown favorite Alice Parker, who goes by Grandma. Her custard cream pie has never come close to being defeated—until this season. The potential usurper’s name is Mildred O’Conner from South Boston. Her blueberry pie with its buttery crust and sugary lattice top is the talk of the fair. A major upset loomed over the pavilion where the judging was to be held.

The controversy started when a judge from Springfield, who traditionally favored Grandma Parker’s pies, complained that the two pies shouldn’t compete against each other because they were in different categories; fruit-filled as opposed to cream-filled. A judge from the eastern part of the state stalwartly disagreed claiming a pie, no matter the filling, is a pie and should be judged accordingly.

The discord continued well past the day’s scheduled closing time. Patrons refused to leave without knowing the outcome. Finally, it was the guest judge, a pastry chef from New York City with three Michelin stars to his credit, who proposed what should have been a logical solution to the impasse. Each of the judges, plus two people randomly selected from the crowd, would be served a sample of both pies. Once a small sample of each pie was eaten a vote would be taken and a winner proclaimed.

Pies were cut and the slices distributed. The two audience members devoured both slices in record time looking hungrily for more. The judges only ate the slice that came from the baker they supported. When the guest judge asked the two people who had sampled both pies which they preferred, they exclaimed that both were equally delicious and asked for more.

The guest judge, no longer able to control his frustration, declared the contest a draw and left the stage. The remaining judges never reached a consensus and continue to debate the issue to this day. Pie-baking contest have been banned from future fairs after a pie throwing melee erupted.