PHASE FOUR

 

PHASE FOUR

 

Florida enters phase 4, the governor pretending Covid-19 is over!

 

Governor DeSantis says the state is on track for progressing into the final stage, telling residents that they would soon be entering this stage by pretending the pandemic is over.

“Thanks to the efforts of state and municipal employees I am happy to state that we have reached the final phase of completely deluding ourselves into thinking that this pandemic has somehow stopped spreading and that we are safe”, stated DeSantis in a press conference on the steps of the state capital. He commended the state for bringing the citizens to this stage by successfully disregarding the virus.

“In order for this to be effective, however, we are instituting guide lines requiring all resident of the Sunshine State to convince themselves that they can no longer contact or spread the disease. Despite virtually no changes in the status we will no longer need to use hand sanitizers, observe social distancing or wash hands repeatedly.”

“We will need all of you to go to restaurants and stores without masks, pretending that this is endangering no one. Thank you all!”

DeSantis later added that he hoped successful observance of protocol would allow this state to soon move into outright panic and statewide devastation that would characterize the next phase.

He continued, “So patronize your local head shops, massage parlors and other essential places of business. I know I am!”