TWENTY-TWENTY

 

 

TWENTY-TWENTY

 

Scientists predict that this will be the worse year since 2019.

Martine Wallingford figured that he would have to enjoy what precious little of 2020 he had left before we all die!

First, he tried unplugging 2020 from his computer, waiting thirty seconds and re-plugging. It didn’t work. “This is ridiculous”, he screamed.

Martine then sent out notes to all his friends and relatives, congratulating them for completing the first two months of 2020 and surviving. He figured that the first two months of 2020 have been a hell of a decade.

Then he read that one out of every three blueberries are no good. What a nightmare!

Finally, he announced that his four-year-old daughter would be employed as a stripper. He would sell pictures of her feet on line, figuring that she could support the entire family, if worse came to worse. The sex industry would thrive as always. His family had never been prouder.

All of a sudden, Martine remembered that he forgot to take the chicken out of the fridge, when he was a kid. That realization was successful in taking his mind off 2020.

As of today, Martine and the rest of the Wallingfords are practicing self-quarantine for the next six months at the minimum.

Thank goodness he was able to purchase enough toilet paper!

 

P.S. I realized this does not fit the prompt, but recent events forced me to write this “epic piece” of literature…