The Welshman and the Telephone

“Please, Dyunnion, I’d really like to have a telephone. All the ladies are getting one. It would be good to have one, with us being so far out of town and all.”

My grandfather, Dyunnion Minta Davis, was a taciturn, frugal Welshman who’d escaped the mines to come to America and become a farmer in Missouri. He’d struggled to learn how to manage the pigs, and how to properly cultivate and harvest the corn and soybeans. Money was tight, and extravagances were out of the question, especially for a toy like a telephone.

Grandmother persisted.  Grandfather resisted.

It went on for months.

Finally, Edna Jackson Davis, a descendant of Andrew Jackson, won through sheer force of will, implemented with mind-numbing arguments focused on the many benefits of a telephone. Dyunnion walked into town and arranged for a telephone to be installed. The battle was over.

Some weeks later, the phone was in place. Dyunnion, however, refused to use it.

Grandfather’s ability to ignore the silly object changed one afternoon, when Edna was out in the garden and the phone rang. Startled by the noise at first, Grandfather finally realized some action was required. He walked to the wall in the kitchen, grasped the receiver, considered which way to put it to his ear, and finally said “Hello,” the way he’d heard his wife do.

A voice on the other end trilled cheerfully: “Dyunnion! Guess who this is!”

“I give up,” Grandfather said, and hung up.