TARGET TENSION

 

 

TARGET TENSION

 

Exulting with joy as she violently kicked over an empty stroller, mother Tandalaya Zambrusky, age thirty-four, was observed saying, “I’m free” to herself and several onlookers in a Target store in Kenosha, Wisconsin. It was moments before realizing her child, Tonto, was simply hiding under a nearby rack of dainty discount woman’s lingerie.

“At last I’ve cast off my burden! A great weight is lifted, exclaimed Tandalaya in a sudden burst of elation, before going on to piece her life’s ambitions back together and calculate all the money she and her husband, Federico, were about to save.

Freddie-Fun, as she usually called him, could go on a trip together! Maybe fall in love again! Or I could leave him! Go back to school (at the University of St. Olav, the Confessor in Bentonville, Minnesota)! My life is mine again! Mine! Mine! Mine! My living nightmare is over!

Eyewitnesses reported laughing and dancing until Zambrusky stopped dead in her tracks and began to silently weep, when the sound of her son’s giggles arose from the center of a circular rack of female unmentionables.

Tandalaya picked up Tonto and flung him into the stroller. “Mama, he wailed, you hurt me!”

She ignored him, wheeling him quickly out of the store without realizing that he had stuffed a lacy bra and see-through panties into his diaper.