Stoned or Cemented

You can’t blame me for this one, I was just reacting in a neighborly fashion. Just, perchance, I met the fellow next door near our adjacent driveways. Soon his charming wife arrived and greetings and small talk wafted the air on this rather pleasant day.   Never did I suspect they would be the genesis of a plenary assault on leprosy.  Yes, that leprosy.  The one disease once cured by Jesus 2000 years ago and later around 1878 by a Dr. Hansen. Now its called Hansen’s disease.    Would you want this dreadful disease named after you?  Paley’s Disease? Scofield’s Disease> Or maybe even Burt’s Disease?

According to recent scientific discoveries, leprosy is caused by a bacteria (Mycobacterium Le Prae ) found in Armadillos.  Eating armadillo gets you a 25 % chance of contracting the disease. There are about 250,000 cases reported annually. Fifty to sixty percent are in India.  In America the state with the highest number of cases is none other than Florida.  So you can see the heightened need to take drastic action.

These friendly neighbors identified an armadillo excavation under our home.  Excavation is not a mischaracterization of the hole.  How did the neighbors detect this earth moving event?  First by their apparently keen sense of smell. The odor wafted near their kitchen door so they investigated its source.  It was concentrated at the excavation.   3 feet wide and nearly as deep.  What to do?  Just filling it back in won’t work very well. I already had done on a similar hole in the front of our house several years ago.

So, the solution reoccurred in my mind.  I purchased 50 pounds of Quickcrete.(R). I could barely lift it so once again the neighbor appeared.  He deftly picked up the bag and threw it quite accurately into the gaping hole. After splitting it open with a few quick slashes with my ready tarpaper knife the hole was filled.  A few buckets of water and viola; the armadillo was stoned.  Hansen’s disease prevented. Stoned to death.