“I Wanna Hold Your Hand”

Holding hands takes many forms, meanings and memories throughout our lives. In infancy, it begins as our five tiny fingers wrap around a parent’s single finger – a touch that launches one of life’s most meaningful connections.

Within a year’s time, mom and dad’s hands offer safety and reassurance during our first unsteady steps. Those early helping hands encourage independence of movement, and as a toddler, we’re soon off and running. Then comes the important lesson when a parent’s hand grips tightly, warning us to look both ways before crossing the street. At first, it’s a literal message; later on, perhaps a valuable metaphor at life’s many crossroads.

The same soothing hands offer comfort throughout our early years when a fever burns or a scraped knee requires a healing touch. If you’re lucky enough to have an older sibling, holding hands can occur during childhood games and when mom commands your older brother or sister to watch out for you and hold tight in busy stores and crowds.

In my case, this was the intent one Halloween eve when my older sister was “in charge” of guiding me safely up and down our block to show off our costumes and collect candy. In all fairness, she had a trove of treats and girlfriends to distract her from her protection assignment. I was decked out from head to toe in an authentic-looking pirate’s costume. Unfortunately, the mask was at least two sizes too large for my face. Between the darkness and my eyes aligned more closely with the mask’s nose, I never saw the telephone pole that seemingly jumped out in front of me. I don’t recall if my sister held my hand as I ran screaming home with an egg-sized bump growing on my forehead, but she’s long since been forgiven.

In elementary school, hand-holding became a different experience in which puppy love blossomed as a symbol of our growing maturity. It demonstrated our affection for someone other than a family member. For me, it was literally the girl next door. The six-block walk to school was my opportunity to showcase that I was old enough – and cool enough – to have a girlfriend.

Contrast that experience with the electric charge that hand-holding gave us during teenage courtship. A warm hand could trigger our hormones and signal a commitment to “go steady”and, perhaps, with the promise of greater intimacy. Many a sweet relationship throughout high school and college began with the acceptance of our offer of an outstretched hand.

Marriage marks another milestone; vows are shared with one hand holding the other’s as wedding bands are exchanged. Over the years, those hands have served each other with love and healing – with gestures of celebration and consolation. And along the way, we offered a hand to our own children in that tradition from their first steps, to crossing the street and then walking them down the aisle as we gave their hand to another in marriage to cherish and protect.

Finally, as grandparents we enjoy the thrill of taking a new generation of little ones by their tiny, soft hands to explore the many wonders that life has to offer. But most importantly, to hold their hands at the curb, while teaching them to look both ways before crossing.