Brain Freeze

(I will be somewhere between Vegas and Reno while the meeting is in session so if someone would like to read this to the group I’d appreciate it.)

 

They told me I had 2-6 weeks left to live. My body was riddled with disease and even if a cure existed, which it didn’t, the treatment should have started months ago.

They told me great strides in cryogenics and cloning had been made, and within 5-8 years I could walk out of their facility with a body of a 20-year-old, completely disease-free.

They told me my brain would be placed in cryostasis and preserved in what looked to me like a futuristic mason jar. The procedure had been performed on monkeys and dolphins with resounding success.

They told me there would be no pain, no feeling of hunger or thirst, no dreams, and no sense of time. My brain would be kept alive by passing an ultra-low charge of electricity through it. I would simply slip into darkness and awaken a new man in 8 years or sooner.

They told me all this and so much more then concluded with, “Are you ready to make history?”

They offered me hope! Small and improbable as it might be, it’s what every human clings to with all his strength. I would be dead tomorrow as a result of this radical procedure, or in 6 weeks by this damnable disease, so I said yes.

They offered me a brave new world.

“They Lied!”

Surgically, the procedure to remove my brain from its’ used-up shell went without a hitch.  Sample tissues for cloning purposes were removed from the carcass and the rest was incinerated. My brain, which had been kept viable using a series of tubes carrying vital fluids to it, was flash frozen in liquid nitrogen and placed in the stasis jar. Electrodes were attached to specific lobes and activated. The procedure went so well it would be used as an instruction manual for future operations. Everyone left the room for a celebratory drink or two while the machinery took over the job of caring for my brain.

Consciousness returned with a jolt, as an electric charge races through my brain forcing synapses to open and close. I am alive––no­, aware is a more accurate term. My mind generates thought, my senses reach out for input but there is nothing to gather information with. Panic slowly intrudes into my thoughts, but with a herculean effort I force it back into oblivion. I must remain in control or I will go mad. Calm reluctantly returns, I am now able to rationally assess my new existence.

The human brain is a master of adaptability. Over time senses have found new ways to input outside stimuli. Vibrations penetrate the walls of my container and the frozen atmosphere inside. My brain translates these vibrations into sounds, eventually fine tuning the sounds into voices; finally, the voices turn into conversations. Radio and television transmissions also vibrate the atmosphere in my container, and now I can also interpret them. I’m unable to see, but I can internally visualize what’s happening around me. Odd as it may sound, my life is returning to a semblance of normal.

Angry voices along with the sound of shattering glass roust me from what I can only describe as sleep. A mob of people are occupying the outer lab shouting slogans and waving placards.

Only God Can Extend Life

This Work Is an Abomination

No Clones! We Don’t Want Recycled People

Eventually the police removed the protesters, and the facility returned to an uneasy calm. I have never experienced such a feeling of utter terror and helplessness, and never want to again. It wasn’t until several weeks later that congress, bowing to pressure from these radicals in an election year, passed a law forbidding the use of, or any research into, cloning. I am now a consciousness that will never have a body. Later that month the facility caring for my brain closed down. I once again need to come to terms with dying, or so I thought.

Much to my surprise, the lead scientist removed my container from the facility the day before I was scheduled to be tossed into the furnace. I won’t go into detail as to how I arrived at this, my final resting place. What I will say is that it is cold, electricity is provided by a solar cell, and the only time I’m in any danger is when a penguin’s curiosity gets the better of it. My life will go on!