CHEESE-IT!

CHEESE-IT!

 

Citing the rising cost of major metropolitan sponsorship, officials announced Monday that, effective January 1, 2020, the city once known as Philadelphia, will now be called Velveeta, Pennsylvania.

The cream cheese company opted to discontinue its long-held naming rights to the city.

“The name change will obviously take some getting use to, as well as significant signage changes that we assume will be partially subsidized by the Kraft Food Corporation. We urge our citizens to welcome our new corporate partners”, Mayor Crafty said.

Opposition by map companies, atlas printers and GPS Systems was quickly settled by litigation.

Velveeta was invented by Emil Edam in 1918 as the Monroe Cheese Company of Monroe, N.Y. In 1927, it was incorporated into the food conglomerate, Kraft Foods.

 

Mayor Crafty’s name is only a coincidental sound-alike of the food company. He added, “This was not the first-time naming rights were transferred, prior to the city becoming Philadelphia in 1812.”

Before the city was named ‘Parmigiano’, but Italian authorities sued, forcing the name change.

Whether you are watching Velveeta Direct TV of the ‘Eagles’ (formerly ‘Crows’) football game, touring Velveeta’s historic city hall or taking a night out to hear the Velveeta Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Sir Malcolm Brie; it is a wonderful place to share with friends over a dinner of cheese fondue or Mac N’ Cheese.

City officials confirmed that they have been congratulated by many cities across the country, such as Cheddar, Vermont, Cracker Barrel, Wisconsin and Borsin, New Hampshire.

Remember the city’s new slogan: “Velveeta, the city of delectable cheese slices”.