Thor Discovers Capitalism

The Thor and More barbecue joints became quite a success. People loved the idea of not having to run around the forest and plains throwing rocks and spears at the deer for lunch. Actually, they generally skipped lunch since it took all day to track down the deer. Anyway, the idea of going to a fast food joint for barbecued deer greatly appealed to the masses.

 

Thor’s rise in fame and fortune was immediate. People gladly brought animal skins, berries, firewood and bowling rocks to exchange for the delicious barbecued deer with a selection of four sauces- honey, apple, cherry and the ever popular mastodon turd. Some even upgraded to the Cheerful Meal.

 

Due to the awkwardness of collecting furs, berries, bowling rocks and stacks of wood, Thor decided to invent currency. He assembled a huge collection of smooth river rocks he called “coins”. They varied in value with the most precious being small colored stones. People began to use the coins for all kinds of goods and services. Thor could now hire the most skilled hunters and cooks.

 

Thor lived well. He upgraded his cave by installing a shower from captured rain water and a sleep comfort bed. He preferred number 3, with three layers of fur over his twig mattress. His staff cleaned, cooked and gathered berries. They were well paid. Others who no longer hunted, developed skills in canoe making, firewood gathering, fur fashion and cave decorating. Some unfortunately invented gambling. Many lost their shirt, literally and figuratively, playing primitive card games with leaves and sticks. Spotting another revenue stream, Thor opened a lotto game at his various barbecue joints; it was an instant success, increasing his massive wealth.

 

Thor’s capitalism had unintended consequences. First, without all the physical work needed to survive people  quickly became lazy, fat and prone to injury and disease. Second, freed from universal poverty, people began to observe the growing gap in lifestyle between them and Thor. They grew jealous and angry. They plotted to take his coins and his select number mattress.

 

Thor sat on his bed as he remembered his accountant would soon arrive to review the books for the last quarter. Thor thought of the good old days when he happily wandered, explored and experimented. His guards stood watch to protect Thor and his coin filled cave.