That’s the Breaks

 

That’s the Breaks

 

 

“Something’s Broken”

By Tim McGraw

 

Could be my ego, could be my pride

Or maybe my calm cool collective side

Might be my heart comin’ eye to eye

With the truth that she wasn’t jokin’

 

Estralita Vander Looten held the extremely honored position of my eighth-grade crush. She was an incredibly gorgeous example of just what I was looking for – a perfect specimen of feminine pulchritude.

Yet, it took me months the garner the courage to ask her out.

When I did, she actually said yes! Wow!

We had a few “dates”, if you could call them that. A movie. A football game. A game of spin-the-bottle. Post-office.

Then, out of nowhere, she stopped saying “yes”! Oh, the horrible horror! She actually said, “no”! The result: an acute broken heart and a compound fracture of my ego!

It turned out that she preferred older men. She started dating a ninth-grader. A further fracturing of the fault line in my heart!

But, aha, I got even! A ninth-grader, Hortensia Finklestein, asked me out!

Strutting down the hallway with my new, prestige “squeeze” in front of Estralita, quickly knitted my crushed ego and filled in the clef in my now, proudly-beating heart.

Alas, this too was short-lived.

Hortensia started up with a junior in high school! No way to compete. Heart and ego re-damaged!

I searched in vain for another Estralita or an alternate Hortensia to heal the breaks, to no avail.

Hey, I’ll knock-’em-dead in the ninth grade.

If not, there’s always my sophomore and junior years to heal the breach!