I’M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

I’M JUST A JEALOUS GUY

 

“My sweetheart calls me by another name. Her eyes linger too long on my best friend. She talks with excitement about a guy at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy – that scheming combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage and humiliation, can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival”:  Helen Fisher (a biologic anthropologist and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University).

 

There was no other choice. She, simply, had to go! She’d never agree to a divorce. She just wanted to go on as before. I could not tolerate that situation or my perception of her infidelity.

What could I do? Nothing seemed to fit the bill.

Sitting at a bar one night, crying in my beer, with my best buddy, Molokai Vandaver, I got pretty drunk and started spouting my frustrations.

 

‘Ole Van’ listened in silence, but finally opened his mouth, suggesting that killing her might be the only way out. We eliminated all other avenues.

I told ‘Ole Van’ that I was not capable of such a thing, but he had another suggestion: hire a hit man!

Where could one find such a person?

It seemed ‘Ole Van’ had a friend who had a friend who could get me in touch with just such a person.

‘Ole Van’ got me the guy’s number. I called. We arranged a meet.

I met Stanislaus Vishinski (obviously an alias) on a dreary, cold, rainy night somewhere in the bowels of Central Park. We went over all the details and decided on a fee. He said he’d call me as soon as all preparation were completed to do the crime.

The next morning, there was a knock on my door. I was greeted by two surly-looking dudes in plain clothes. They flashed their badges, handcuffed me and threw me in a van.

“What’s this all about”, I asked.

“Shut up!”, the bigger of the two cops yelled. “You’re under arrest for attempted murder!”

“What?”, I screamed.

To make a long story short and not bore my readers, I am writing this on the top of a bunk bed in a cell, located in Danamora-on-the Hudson (Sing-sing). I’ll be here for 10 to 25 years!

It seems the ‘fiend of a friend’ was an undercover FBI Agent…

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves”. William Penn