CORRECT/INCORRECT

 

CORRECT/INCORRECT

 

He was never the neat-freak she always wished him to be. She was so fastidious that he’d purposely mess things up just to annoy her. She would increase her neatness to annoy him.

It was always the little things:

1-All silverware was perfectly aligned so the utensil to the right was always the first to be used. Newly-cleaned pieces were always placed on the left.

2-Newly laundered sheets, pillow cases and towels were carefully folded and placed in the closet in perfect alignment. Each stack was flipped so the oldest-placed items would be used first.

3-The vacuum cleaner was used unannounced, at various times throughout the day, whenever “dirt” was detected.

4-The bed was remade each day with surgical precision; never any variation. As in army boot camp, one could bounce a quarter off the bedspread.

5-Clothes were hung precisely by color-coding, preferably with the newest on the left.

He always, subtlety, sabotaged each of her OCD quirks”

1-Tossing the silverware helter-skelter into the drawer or taking a new piece from the left, not the right.

2-Taking a towel from the middle of the stack, compromising the rigid order.

3-Making an excuse for taking a walk as soon as a vacuum or mop made an appearance.

4-Feigning unrulely sleep just to disrupt the precise arrangement of the bedding.

5-Hanging clothes any-which-way. Color-coding be damned.

 

 

You may now ask: “How could this marriage last”? No sweat. Here’s how:

1-Silverware placement became a game. What one misplaced, the other replaced.

2-Purposely “soiled” areas fed the woman’s need to clean.

3-The messed-up bed was the same as the silverware or the towels. She loved making beds.

4-She had her side of the closet – he the other. Never the twain would meet.

A state of rapprochement continued throughout the marriage, until one day, a disaster! Company arrived and the husband, allegedly helping with the preparations, put out the wrong plates, the wrong glasses, the wrong silverware; what’s worst, they were in the wrong order!

 

The man wore his most-wrinkled, out-of-style clothes. He dressed on the bed, messing it up right before the guests arrived.

The couple could have survived that like they always did, save for one thing: politics inevitably reared its ugly head during the dinner.

He was a Trumpster, she a Democratic Socialist!

Arguments between the two grew heated. The Trumpster in him boiled over. He lunged at his spouse, knife in hand! Several guests wrested the weapon from his hand, wrestling him to the table.

Alas, a large salad fork was driven into him, piercing his heart, killing him instantly!

With nary a tear in her eye, the wife stated calmly: “Oh my, how will I ever remove that blood stain out of my beautiful tablecloth”?