The Piñata Caper

 

 

THE PINATA CAPER

 

That’s right, I am a Piñata! You got a problem with that? Until today, I was sitting comfortably in the back of a costume store, minding my own business and contentedly collecting dust.

Then, in walks the Hernandez family: Mateo, his wife, Paloma, and their three children: Santiago, Marisa and Paco.

It was Paco’s birthday and Paco desperately wanted a piñata to celebrate in the typical Latino way.

Paco spotted me and it was all over. He wanted me! Mateo thought I was a bit too expensive, but he gave in after Paco’s enthusiastic entreaties.

My cost $22 ($23.50, with tax). I was filled with pride over that amount! Mateo paid with his Master Card and carried me out to his car, a 1997 Honda SUV. I was carefully placed in the back. Luckily, I was not wrapped.

It wouldn’t have hurt to place me up front. I tend to get nauseous, riding backward. I was taken out, when they got home and hung up on their patio, which, to my surprise, was festooned with strings of pretty colored lights. I fitted right in, if I do say so myself.

Hanging there all nights was no fun. I felt chilled and lonely. The lights were turned off and the temperature dipped. Lousy!

The next day a ton of squealing kids and their parents showed up for the party. They all admired my svelte shape and exquisite coloring.

Then trouble! After an hour or so, Paloma bought out a thick boom stick. What the devil was that for? Then, I remembered that I was filled with candy. If I know kids (and I do!), they want those sweets inside me. How were they going to get them out?

Then, it hit me! The stick! Oh my! One little brat after another swung at me! Luckily, most missed (they were blindfolded, you know). Several tries found their mark Ouch! Damn! Stop! It hurts!

 

 

After the 18^thstrike, Paco’s amigo, Olivero, delivered the fatal blow, splitting me apart like a shelled pistachio nut! Candy poured out of me. Oh, the pain! The horror! The degradation!

There I was, an empty shell of my former self. I hung helplessly as those kids scrambled over the floor to get as much of my innards as possible. It was a happy time for everyone except me.

I hung there empty during another cold and lonely night.

In the morning, Mateo took me down, placed me back in the Honda and dumped me in a garbage heap at the local recycling center.

Alas, a terrible ending for myself, after such a promising career and after giving so much joy to those ungrateful brats.

I lie here a broken (literally) man. There is no future for used piñatas!

I hope those nasty kids are happy!