It’s In the Genes

Janus has been known as a practical joker since the age of five when he placed a dead mouse in his sister’s dollhouse and told her the dolls had company. As he got older his jokes became more sophisticated and outlandish. In elementary school Janus convinced the fourth grade teacher he heard water running in the janitor’s closet. When she went in to check it out he promptly closed the door locking her in until the janitor came to work several hours later and released her. In high school Janus figured out a way to deflate all the basketballs used by both the boys’ and girls’ teams without making them look deflated. Practice was canceled for the day.

It seemed strange that coming from a family of hard working Hungarian immigrants Janus was so infatuated with pulling pranks on people, but it’s just who he was. The other obsession Janus harbored was to visit Budapest, the city his parents had originated from. He had family still living there and thought it would be fun to reunite the two halves of the family. Finally, as a college graduation present to himself, Janus purchased a ticket to Budapest. His parents call ahead so his aunt and uncle would be waiting for him at the airport. At the appointed time Janus boarded a plane for his great adventure.

The flight, like most intercontinental flights, was long and tiring, but the fatigue transformed into anticipation as the aircraft touched down. Janus cleared customs by answering the usual barrage of questions and stepped into the main concourse eager to see his relatives. Instead all he saw were people going about their lives with absolutely no interest in him. Janus continued through the main exit doors and onto the sidewalk where he was immediately greeted by two very large men in police uniforms.

The larger of the two men, speaking in broken English, asked to see his ID, so he handed him his passport. The man looked at it, placed it in his uniform pocket and said, “You must now come with us. We have been looking for you.”

Janus was flabbergasted. He had just stepped off the plane; there must be some mistake. When he tried to protest, the men physically placed him in a windowless black van as a third man drove the vehicle away. The two officers, if that’s what they were, sat in the back of the van with Janus wedged between them for about an hour. Then mercifully the van stopped.

At first the light streaming in from the open van doors blinded Janus, but slowly his sight returned. Standing beyond the open doors was an elderly man and woman. “Welcome to Hungary,” the man said. “You look a lot like your father. I hope your cousins weren’t too rough with you. We wanted to give you a special welcome.”

Janus finally recovered his senses enough to ask, “You’re saying this was all a joke?”

“Of course it was my dear nephew. Our family is known far and wide for orchestrating some of the best jokes in Hungary. It’s what we do best. It’s in our DNA.”