Be careful what you wish for (part 2)

Hurrying through the airport to catch her early am overseas flight, Ann was floating on air.  She was so excited that Giles proposed, but she hadn’t had time to tell any of her friends.  So, she instead told everyone she saw.  The ticket agent, the TSA agent, and the gate agent, and everyone in line at each of these stops, regardless of what language they spoke.

“Finally, he pulled the Trigger!,” Ann shouted excitedly into her phone.  “What about a trigger?,” Jolyn said groggy.  “Oh no, did someone get hurt,” Audra said confused.

“Sorry guys, I was so excited to call you, I forgot it is still early,” she said.  “Giles proposed and I said yes!”

As the sound barrier was broken from her phone with her friends screaming excitement, Ann realized where she was and moved away from the alarmed glares from the nearby passengers.

“When do you get the ring?,” Jolyn said. “When will you get married?….oh and where…here, or maybe France or some other romantic exotic location?,” Audra said.  “We will help you plan everything,” they both said together.

As she said her goodbyes, she realized that there was so much she didn’t know, as reminded by her friends’ stacco-fired questions.  “He proposed, but what comes next? she thought. What was the plan?  She didn’t even have a ring. And she was going to be gone for two more weeks for work …Russia, then Istanbul, then Rome.

Ann was suddenly suffocating under the weight of the decisions; the planning and the changes marriage will make to her life.  She felt herself spinning faster and faster in her head, as if her ballerina was now out of control.  As she boarded the plan, her unbridled glee now turned to looming panic as her questions and fears festered for the entirety of the 9-hour flight to Moscow.

For the next two weeks, she was in full robot work survival mode.  Speaking Greek to this minister, Russian to that general, and some Arabic to a visiting prince, while translating back to each of them, she was going through the motions, completely compartmentalizing her thoughts of uncertainty, just as she separated one language to another with seamless precision.  Treaties for land rights…blab la bla….trade negotiations…blab la bla.  She felt trapped inside the robot translator persona fighting to break out and run.

At night, she stared blindly up to the beautiful barrel vault ceiling of her antique hotel room wondering and pondering each moment of her life from this point on.  She and Giles communicated via email and text, mostly as he was in California and the 11 hour time difference to Istanbul made verbal communication difficult, as it often did.

“Is this is what my life is going to be like, a relationship of texts and emails” she questioned as she sipped espresso next to the beautiful Trevi fountain, watching couples and families happily throw coins and making wishes for their future. “Marriage isn’t going to change our lives with him in one county and she in another.  It just becomes more permanent.”

Walking soberly back to her hotel, with each step she became more certain that something had to change or marriage was not going to work. She had to call Giles no matter the time difference and discuss some things…or break it off…she wasn’t sure.

“Sopresa,” she heard as she opened her hotel room door, swirling around as she saw dozens of rose petals on the floor, champagne and a string quartet with a smiling Giles on one knee holding a black velvet box cradling a white gold and sapphire ring.

“What now,” she thought.