Unwanted Mail

I have a question for you. What do a pen and pad, a topographical map with no familiar names or locations, a small teddy bear, a three inch square mirror, and a compass have in common? Don’t know? Neither do I, but that’s what arrived at my doorstep each of the past five mornings.

 

Each item was carefully wrapped with a typed label and no return address.  The postage cancellation stamp indicted each box came from different cities around the country. I assume it’s some kind of advertising scam. I bet I will get a key in the next box with a note that I have won a car and all I need to do is to send $500 service fee to some mailbox in Texas.  You wouldn’t mind so much if it was actually useful stuff.  I could use some Amazon gift cards or a new Smart Watch, for example.

 

You’re right, I should just throw it all in the trash but something keeps me from doing that. I guess it’s the mystery of it all.  I have to admit, I have gotten to look forward to my trip to the front door each morning.  Everything in my life is predictable, but not this.  I still wonder how things get delivered before 8 AM.

 

OK, here’s my plan. Tell me what you think of it.  Nobody gets post office deliveries before 8AM. I’m going to set the alarm for 5AM and sit outside near the front door and try to catch whoever is dropping these packages  on my doorstep. Yes, I know, that would be a big sacrifice to get up that early and you think I should just throw the stuff away until it stops.  But I’m going to try it.

 

You won’t believe this. At 5AM last night the box was already on my doorstep.  When I opened the package, it was empty.  Can you believe the nerve of some people.  That’s insulting.  I’m wasting my time here.  Your were right. I’m going to throw all that stuff away.

 

Why do I look tired? Well, I didn’t sleep well last night. I had a bad lab report.  The doctor said there is nothing that can be done.  He’s not sure, but six months is tops. Thank you for your concern but there’s nothing you can do. While I was awake most of the night I wandered over to the box of junk that has been arriving.  I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked, for a long time.  I wrote a love letter to my wife who’s been gone for ten years now as you know.  I was drawn to the map and the compass. I realized I need to be out on some trail, somewhere, anywhere.  I took the Teddy Bear to bed with me and we had a long conversation.  Before I fell asleep I thanked Humphrey for listening.

 

I’m glad I didn’t listen to you.