A New Convention

Casually I lifted the pistol from my lap and fired a single round over the head of my partner sitting opposite me. My partner calmly announced “Alert” in a quiet tone. Our opponents were apparently unaware of this new convention. From under the table one of them screamed, “What the hell!” My partner answered this inquiry with a simple “That’s the LaPierre convention”.

 

Our opponents didn’t move or speak. I sighed after a minute of silence then called out in a loud voice, “Director!” Duncan lumbered over in about a half minute and stared at me, “What?!” I explained that our opponents were under the table and refused to continue the bidding and play even though my partner clearly announced, “Alert. LaPierre convention”.

 

Duncan bent over and peered into the darkened space below. “Ladies, when the bidder opens with a two heart bid it’s weak and when he fires a single shot it means his partner must bid again. It’s a new convention approved by the ACBL for duplicate bridge. Your turn to bid”. He ambled away with a shrug.

 

Our opponents slowly emerged with heads peering above the table edge. They sat quietly, quickly reorganizing their cards to avoid a delay of game penalty. “Pass”. My partner then announced, “Three hearts”. I responded, “Alert” which brought a terrified glance from our opponents. No gunshots. I explained that the three heart bid meant that my partner has the queen of hearts as well as the king, queen and jack of clubs, and exactly 17 high card points, without the ace of diamonds.

 

My right hand opponent nodded, then with a click of her Bic, ignited her hand. My left hand opponent announced “Alert” and she explained that the burning cards indicated her partner was conceding the game and we were going to move on to the next hand.

 

Bridge used to be a dull old ladies’ game. The new conventions are bringing a new level of excitement to the party. I can’t wait for the next hand.