PICTURE PERFECT

 

 

 

 

PICTURE PERFECT

 

As I entered the room, something was amiss. At first, I could not imagine what it was. Then I saw the two nails, still hammered in the wall, neatly spaced, and the faint outline of something that once hung there.

Several questions popped into my mind. The first was: why should I care what used to hang there? Many other questions then arose in my nosey brain. What did hang there? What was its subject? Why was it removed? Was it stolen? Did someone just take it off the wall to be replaced by something better? Was it knocked off the wall?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My brain then went into overdrive. I imagined that what previously hung there was a painting by Paul Gaugin of exotic native Tahitian women, surrounding him and supplying him with local gustatory delicacies.

It obviously hung there without the owner having the slightest idea of what the painting was or the great value of it.

My brain went into overdrive. Obviously, someone recognized the painting and removed it from the room!

The thief then sold it to the notorious Russian art dealer, Sergei Vagonovich. He, in turn, sold it to an ultra-rich billionaire, Jorge von Javion, for $25 million!

 

 

Unfortunately, my reverie was interrupted, when my host, Phil Schwarzkopf, entered the room. I immediately asked about the empty wall space. Phil said that his son, Aurilio, was playing catch with his friend, Jasmine O’Reilly, when the picture was hit by an errant throw and fell to the ground. Phil had just sent the picture out for repairs.

It turns out that that it was an old picture of his grandmother, Sasha, and his grandfather, Gregorio, taken in 1898 in Byelorussia. It was a family heirloom.

Not a Gaugin? Not Tahiti? No native women? No theft? Just Sasha and Gregorio, and a poorly thrown ball? At least the picture had personal value.

I still prefer my perverted version of the picture! I’ll never tell Phil!