GULLIBLE’S TRAVELS

GULLIBLE’S TRAVELS

 

How did I ever fall for it? You may ask, and are entitled to do so, what was “it”.  ”It” was a cruel hoax, perpetuated by several of my female classmates, who assured me that Sandra Ammons (the sheriff’s granddaughter, by the way) was, as it was stated way back then, “hot for my form”! Holy cow! All I had to do was get up the courage to act on that tantalizing piece of information.

I prided myself on not being a dupe, an easy mark, a stooge, a sucker; but, in this case, my unrequited love for Sandra (the most desirable girl in the ninth grade by mutual consent of all the ninth-grade boys) proved those words to be absolutely true!

But first, a little history: In the seventh grade, my friend Charlie and I biked to Sandra’s house for Christmas cookies. There was a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. As soon as Sandra’s mom left the room to get the aforementioned cookies, Sandra and I met under the mistletoe and, voila, my first kiss! It was mad and passionate – at least, I remember it as so.

When Sandra’s mom came in with the cookies, she asked me how I got so sun-burned in the month of December. Maybe, I did blush a bit.

From that day on, I watched in horror as Sandra saw other guys, paying scant attention to yours-truly. When I got the word from her friend, I was convinced that the last two years of suffering were not in vain.

It took me several weeks to finally garner the courage and fortitude to ask her out. When I finally did, she basically laughed in my face, telling me that she was dating a high school junior! That was that. She flitted happily away, leaving me wiped out.

To make matters worse, there was a gaggle of Sandra’s friends nearby laughing hysterically. The joke was obviously on me as I was so easily fooled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The classic definition of “gullible” is a trusting person who tends to swallow the stories he hears whole. The word derives from another word “gull”, meaning to swallow.

I vowed to never again be “gulled”, but as life would have it, gullibility followed me for years, especially in my relationships with the ladies. I was indeed gullible in my travels throughout life.

[My apologies to Jonathan Swift for the use of his title]