life sans tv

 

 

 

 

LIFE SANS TELEVISION

OR

HOW I LOVE WATCHING INFERIOR PROGRAMS

 

The sad thing is that I have become a TV junkie – especially cable news. It is not even fun (recent news is never fun), but I beat myself up with it every day. Granted it’s not cocaine or heroin, but it is still an addiction. I even take a nap after dinner in order to get up for the late-night comics.

 

This addiction no doubt started when I was growing up in the Midwest. There was only one TV station, KSD-TV in St. Louis, Missouri. My dad put up an aerial, which, to me, looked about a mile high. This enabled me to watch only what KSD wanted me to, whether or not I liked it. Staring at that snowy little screen was the start of my addiction.

 

When I moved back to New York, I was greeted by multiple TV channels (nine, to be exact)! Nirvana!  Ecstasy! Homework be damned! Surely, I could find something I liked with all those choices. It was a miracle – especially compared to KSD.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Admittedly, I had to watch such stellar attractions as wrestling with Gorgeous George or Howdy Doody with Claribel, the Clown or roller derby with Toughie Brasoon of the Brooklyn Bombers or Uncle Miltie and oh, so many more “quality” shows. How could my viewing pleasure possibly get any better?

 

Now there are about a half million channels, none of which has improved the quality of my viewing, but being addicted, I still compulsively watch. I just change channels more often and, with the remote control tucked safely in my hand, never watch a commercial!

 

TV or not TV – that is the question. Whether it is nobler to give up the idiot box or forever experience the slings and arrows of affliction by opposing TV-viewing so my mind is no longer corrupted and my eyesight restored.