Part 681-A

It’s difficult to choose. There are pros and cons.  One option gives greater range of use.  One gives greater durability.  One offers greater flexibility.  One is easier to install.  Then there are the endorsements to consider.

 

Oprah touts the “A” model and who can argue with Oprah. After all, she is in her third term as President so she must have good advice from her staff.  On the other hand Clint Eastwood recommends model “B”.  That makes sense since it’s reportedly the most durable model.  Then there is Tom Hanks.  He says he has ordered and installed two of these.  He recommends model “C” for greater flexibility.  Hodah has weighed in too, with a model “D” recommendation for ease of installation.  Even though she is getting a bit old now, with 14 years hosting the Today show, she has interviewed hundreds of experts.  So there is some serious authority there.  Oh well, Oprah it is.

 

Beyond the model, I must consider the payment plan. Should I put it all on VISA?  I do get 2% back for my Smart Kard, but that’s a lot of debt.  My credit rating might drop from “risky” to “never on your life”.  My credit line hasn’t changed since my increase last year to 1.75 M.  I like a good credit line.  It’s nice to know that I am stimulating the economy.  Maybe I should go off the books and consider bartering.  I might swap my oldest son for the 681-A.  That won’t work though since he is pretty useless and still is living in the basement at age 46.  Don’t even ask about insurance.  Since I broke the original, no one will offer insurance at any price.  Normal wear and tear is one thing, but breakage means carelessness.  And carelessness means no insurability.  VISA it is.

 

The final step is timing the order. It’s a good thing they deliver now.  It used to be a nuisance to drive a long way and wait around forever.  But they deliver everything, complete with easy to install instructions.  I think I will have Part 681-A sent to me by Amazon on my birthday.  I deserve it, after all and I can return it if I’m not 100% satisfied.  We are so fortunate to have Amazon supplying everything.

 

Knee replacements used to be very complicated, but not now with 681-A.  I’ve been so satisfied with Amazon I am considering ordering 866-X; they guarantee a six hour erection.  Amazing.  I should have bought stock in Amazon two years ago when the price dipped to $1,750,010.52 per share.  Oh well, I have never been good at market timing.  I’m smiling already as I think about my next purchase.