WORSTEST/DIRTIEST

 

 

 

WORSTEST/DIRTIEST

 

Most would describe my ex-job, orthodontics, as the worst or even the dirtiest (“you have to put your hands in someone’s mouth?”).

 

Nah, it isn’t the worst. It’s indoors, air-conditioned, surrounded by assistants and hygienists of the feminine persuasion. It also afforded me a way to earn more than a living wage with a minimum of dreaded physical labor.

 

Naturally some parents were a pain, hovering over you like a vulture eying prey, asking dumb questions and making excuses for their dear progeny for not following instructions like no gum chewing or eating sticky candy. “Oh yes, he broke his wire. Maybe you should use stronger materials”. “My sweet Hermione would never do something like that. She follows every instruction to the letter”. “Isn’t that one tooth still crooked”?

 

Putting your hands into a mouth that hasn’t seen a toothbrush for years could be a problem – thank goodness for latex gloves!

The owners of these mouths always claim they brush their teeth after every meal – religiously. “I never eat candy – ever! If I do, I just suck on it, not chew it”. “I didn’t get a chance to brush today. I was late for school (or the dog ate my brush)”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One has to be a bit of a psychologist also in order to listen to tales of teenage angst, relationships with boy or girl friends, dealing with parents and teachers – an entire litany of tales that would keep a shrink busy for years. “Should I kiss Romeo on the first date”? “If my girlfriend has braces, can our mouths lock when we kiss”?  “Do you think getting grounded if fair”? “My teacher hates me and gives me too much homework”.

“Is it OK to chew sugarless gum”?

 

Ortho is not the dirtiest profession or the worst. Yet, I have talked to many who ask me how can I put my hands in anyone’s mouth – “I wouldn’t do  for all the rice in China”! Why don’t these guys take a slow boat to China to see the amount of rice, for themselves?