Heresy

 

 

 

HERESY

 

I never particularly liked my father. As a young child, as most tots do, I emulated him and copied his every move. As I aged, I realized my father was a narcissist. Everything was about him. He treated me as a person to compete with, not wanting me to do better than him. He shot down almost everything I said or did to promote his own ideas.

 

I was basically there to make him important. His competition with me increased as I got older. I grew much taller, became more athletic and got smarter. What a threat I must have been to his ego as I graduated college, dental and orthodontic school.

 

He never played catch with me, never went out of his way to pick me up from school or practice. I learned just to do my thing while he did his. There was never any affection between us; never a hug or a kiss. His aloofness always managed to disappoint.

 

 

 

 

 

He came home from work, ate dinner while reading the newspaper. After dinner, he sat in his lounge chair, unbuckled his belt, turned on the TV, lit up a cigar and continued reading the paper until he went to bed.

 

Sound nasty? It was! Luckily, I was blessed with a loving, doting, affectionate, supportive mother who was able to counteract my father’s bad with her basic good. Without her I cannot imagine what my life would have been.

 

I brought up my kids doing the exact opposite of what he did. I would never shoot down anything my kids would say or do. My support for and participation in their lives continues to this day. I continue to encourage their freedom of speech and thought.

 

The final irony: when he passed away, I cried. I’ll never know why……