CALL OF THE WILD

 

 

 

 

CALL OF THE WILD

 

First of all, don’t call me no “gator”! Officially, I am to be referred to as an “alligator”, specifically “A. Mississippiensis”, my scientific name. Us guys have been around since the Paleocene Epoch – about 66 million years ago! We’ve coped with dinosaurs, so humans are no biggie!

 

I am an average adult, about 13 feet long and weighing around 800 pounds. Wanna mess with me? I’m a very solitary animal, but very territorial. Just don’t invade my turf! My diet ranges from fish (especially Florida gar – yum, yum) to turtles (darn hard shells are hard to get through) to various mammals (warning: keep your weird pets away from my sphere of influence!).

 

What really annoys me is that some of my fellow species are raised commercially for their meat and skin (used for bags and shoes). I do not want to see any of you wearing those shoes or carrying those bags, made of my kin’s skin! Or else!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve lived in Florida my whole life, most of which without any intrusions from you dreadful humanoids. You guys come down here in droves, changing the environment, building odd-looking houses and polluting my habitat.

 

But, you genetic mutants ain’t gonna affect the likes of myself. I just eat, drink and, for the most part, keep out of your way. Once in a while, one of my buddies may cause some problems like eating a pet or biting some idiot who swims in their area – never our fault, just the dummys that get too near. I wish you genetic mutants would just mind your own business.

 

When all is said and done, we only kill two or three Floridians a year. Big deal! Truth-be-told, you guys really don’t taste good at all!